If I Ever Find Home
by GhostWhispererFangirl
Summary: What if Melinda got pregnant in the 70s during high school and Jim never knew? Tom forced her to give the baby up and she never forgot about the little girl she held in her arms all those years ago. AU
1. Chapter 1: Present

**A/N: What if Melinda got pregnant in high school and Jim never knew? Tom forced her to give the baby up and she never forgot about the little girl she held in her arms all those years ago. Set in 1995 when that little girl is all grown up. AU**

* * *

The second the loud music from the club hit him, Daniel felt himself start to relax. He briefly closed his eyes and sighed. Even though the place smelled like sweat, sex, and smoke, he loved it here. It was him and his younger brother's little piece of heaven.

With a smile still playing on his lips, Danny opened his eyes and headed over to the bar. He placed an order for a double shot of whiskey and a vodka tonic, paid, then headed towards the back. The strip club had private rooms near the back where a guy could get a private lap dance, and other things if he paid enough to the right kind of girl

Daniel always came for the same girl. His girl. Crystal. That wasn't her real name, they'd come up with it so she'd be safe from other men. Crystal didn't do those other things, the things other girls gave so easily. He knew that much. He had been coaxing her for the past three months to try and get something more than just a dance to earn more money for them to have, but she never would. She didn't do that kind of thing, she'd say over and over again.

Now, Danny was lounging back in a lush chair that was covered in red velvet, waiting for her.

This was her private room.

It was dark and the walls were covered in the same red and purple velvet fabric that the chair was. There were flameless candles lit all around the room. Across from him was a small stage with a stripper pole that she never used with him.

He paid for the private visit, but never wanted to watch her dance on the pole. Instead, he always chose the lap dance. Anything to get her against him. He was always her last of the night, every night.

The door beside the stage opened and she stepped into the room with her usual smile. He found himself grinning as she shut the door, locking them both in. He sat up straight, whiskey in his right hand and vodka tonic in the other. His eyes flowed down her body with a familiar tightness growing in his pants.

"Well if it isn't my favorite client," she purred when she faced him again. "I've missed you."

"I got you a drink." He said softly.

"Do you like my outfit? It's new." She said, smoothing her hands down her sides. She took a sip of her drink as he held it to her mouth. "I've gotten lots of compliments."

Tonight she was wearing a light blue plaid skirt that barely covered her ass. A white, bikini type top covered her chest with straps that went around her toned stomach and tied tight against her back. Her hair was down and hung in curls over her shoulders. Her legs were bare, which he always preferred because he liked it when her bare skin touched him, even it was just through his clothes.

"Oh yeah, I love it." He smiled and she took the drink from him then after the little taste, downing it quickly. "So sexy."

"Good," she gasped. "Tonight has been a bad one. Do you have any blow on you? I'm craving..."

She came to stand right in front of him then, placing her hands on either side of the chair's arms. She leaned down so their faces were only inches apart. His eyes jetted down to her cleavage before returning to her face as he pulled out a tiny bag with the powder she asked for.

Her right hand found his stomach and started to walk her fingers up his body with each of her words, making his breath stop. When she reached his collarbone, she only let her index finger touch his skin. She slipped it up the center of his throat and under his chin. She brought her mouth to his, stopping just before she touched his lips. His eyes slammed shut as he forced himself to breathe. How this girl turned him on this bad by barely touching him with her body was beyond him.

This was why he kept coming back to her.

She took the bag out and smiled at white power. "New batch?" She asked, taking out a roll and cutting it with her fingernail. "Smell new."

"I always come through, right?" He smiled, leaning in to kiss her neck. "Lance said it's even better than the last one."

She leaned down and let it go into her system quickly by snorting it. It was like every nerve ending on her body was alert and on fire at the same tie. She let her finger rub under nose before going to sit on his lap.

"What do you want before we go home and break our new bed again, hmmm?" She sat on his lap eagerly, her confidence growing the more the coke egged her on.

His hands tighten, one of his cup and the other on his chair arm, to keep himself from touching her. She leaned forward, letting her breasts brush against his chest. That was something else he liked about her. She hadn't done what most of her coworkers had done. She was real, beautiful and all his.

His evil little partner in crime.

She leaned back so she was pressed against his chest and turned her face into his neck while her hips ground in such a slow motion that Danny thought he was going to come right then and there. The fiction of her ass against his erection felt so unbelievably good. Dry humping never felt so great. His head went back, his eyes shut and his mouth dropped open in a moan. She swirled her hips in time with the music. She blew a small amount air across his neck and made him shiver.

"Ah... fuck." He whispered. " You are..." His words trailed off as her hands came to his arms. "The hottest woman I've ever seen."

She ran them down him, letting her nails score his skin. His hands opened on reflex, sending his shot tumbling over the side of the chair and onto the carpet, its contents spilling out at once. Her hands came over his. His hands open and their fingers intertwined.

"Feel good, baby?" She whispered as she slowly ground against him.

His hips started to thrust without his brain telling them too. "You have no idea." He whispered.

"Good, that's how I want you to feel." Her words and breath sent chills through his system.

His tongue darted out and over his bottom lip, the tip trembling as his throat went dry. His hands tighten on her fingers and he thrust up hard.

She was so good, so smooth with the motion that he barely felt her lost of contact when she pulled away just enough to turn and straddle him again. She rubbed against him, hitting all his nerves at once. She started to slow her hip motions until she stopped altogether. He groaned and frowned with his eyes shut.

"Your mine," he groaned and pushed her down to the floor. "I want you."

"You lasted longer than I thought you would," she laughed. "Now come on... work off the tension from today. You know you want too."

"I always do, Katherine." He grinned.

"You know you can't use my name here," she answered. "Anyone could hear you..."

"I do what I want, you should know that by now." He groaned, nipping at her neck.

* * *

Daniel and Katherine walked out of the club together as the last of the effects of the drug were drowning on her. She had her winter jacket on, despite the time of year, and walked in his arms, tucked into his chest.

"Hungry?" He asked.

"Kind of," she yawned, shrugging. "I'm mostly tired. I think I need another line."

"Well I have something we need to do first," he said.

"What?" She sighed. "I just worked a ten-hour shift."

"I need to you help me take care of someone while I rob their stash. The usual baby," he quickly snorted some as they entered an apartment complex. "Here. To help with the long hours." There was a smidge of coke left on his finger and he pressed it to her nose, letting her take the last of it. "C'mon, take it."

"Okay," she answered and tucked herself into his chest as she snorted the bit of blow. It made her head all wobbly and she laughed before rubbing her nose. "Umm just a dance or something, right?"

"You're gonna need to do more than that to keep him occupied," he suggested, his hands in his pockets as he kissed her neck. "Maybe a blow? I'll be quick. I promise I'll make it up to you later baby."

"No! Daniel, you know I don't do that sort of thing and I won't let you make me. Not this," she answered, shaking her head. "I won't be your little whore to shove off on other while you rob them."

"Fine," he chuckled, shaking his head. "You've easily replaced Katie. I can get any girl to do your job. Go back to your lover boy. We both know he's waiting for you back outside the club by now. It's a Friday night."

She shoved him off her and turned around. "Fuck you, Dan. Fuck you." She sneered.

"Katie," he yelled at her just as she was about to turn around, grabbing her arm. "If you can't do this for me tonight, then deliver this," he held out a small brown package to her with a knowing smirk. "I love you, you know that, but it has to be done. Just take the package to Marci, that's it. Take it and don't let any cops or that boy of yours see you. Don't look shifty and dress nice, but not over the top."

"What happened to Todd? Doesn't he take it?" She asked.

"Baby, are you questioning me? Because if you are you can get the fuck out of my face right now." He warned her, his grip on her tightening. "Don't you love me?"

"Okay. Sorry... I'm sorry. I do love you. Just put it in my bag, alright" She unzipped her purse that was over her shoulder before walking back outside. She could see Ned from here, standing outside the club smoking what had to be his second cigarette.

He threw it and ran to her, tossing his arms around her in a tight hug. "Come home with me, please. Just give me one night," Ned begged and blew into his hands to warm them up. "My mom won't care and you can even sleep in my room."

"Just tonight," she said softly and rubbed her nose. "Only tonight. I have something to do in the morning."

"Again?" He asked, lifting her chin to find her eyes. Her pupils were huge, unable to focus on him and he sighed, reaching into his pocket to lift another cigarette to his mouth. "You told me you'd stop doing them damn drugs."

"You said you'd quit smoking last year," she sighed. "And how can I stay with you tonight? Your mom hates me, always has. She'll kick me out or call the cops the second she sees me, especially in this attire."

"My mom doesn't hate you. Not completely," he sighed, rubbing his chin. "She just doesn't agree with your life choices, but neither do I. There are too many times when I don't know if you're alive."

"I'm fine. I'm always fine," she replied, shaking her head at him. She had to reassure him of her safety. She really was okay. She could deal with a little yelling from Daniel every once and a while. He'd never really hurt her. "I really am Ned, it's better to be apart from my old self. I made a new name for myself and don't suffer as much anymore."

"Closing off your heart does not make you fine," he sighed before starting to cross the street with her. "They left another message for you. That's three this month. Shouldn't that prove they care about you?"

"I have closed off my heart because I can't deal with losing anyone else! Why don't you understand that?" She yelled, storming across the street and away from him.

"You ignored what I said again," he muttered, following her. She looked away as he stepped closer to her, trying to grab a hold of her hand. "You should really call them, Katie. They seemed pretty desperate to try and talk to you. I don't blame them for worrying about you."

"Don't call me that," she whispered. "Please."

"Why?" He asked.

"It reminds me of them," she muttered, shaking her head and wiping away her tears. "It reminds me of all the pain I felt when I was back there and of how you stopped loving me. That when I really knew I couldn't be myself anymore. I had to be someone new."

"They love you, even if you haven't talked to them since last year." He admitted, shaking his head at her. "Even after you ran off at sixteen and broke their hearts, they still understood why you left and love you, just as I do. I could never stop loving you, Katie."

"For how long? Everyone always leaves Ned, you and I both know that one day you'll grow tired of me and move on too." She replied. "My biological mother and father, whoever they are, even they couldn't keep me. They couldn't love me enough to be my parents! What makes you think we'll be any different?"

"You don't even know what happened with your parents," he pleaded. "You should find out though. I've been telling you that for years, but you just gave up. Even after I found that lead."

"They gave up full parental rights the day I was born. What else is there to know?" She cried and walked away, trying to be anywhere but around Ned at this very moment. "It just gets better when the woman that adopted me died when I was four and the dad put me in foster care. I jumped around from home to home until I was nine. I went to a few good homes, but mostly bad and then my social worker and her husband adopted me. It was pretty great at first, but when they had a kid a few years later everything changed. They say it didn't and tried to make things better, but it didn't change anything. It was all about that little boy from the second he was born. I was second best and Liam knew it. He rubbed it in my face the second he could speak in sentences." She explained, finally stopping and letting him hug her, her tears taking over, but she eventually pushed through. "So there you go, there's my life story Ned. I've never been loved by anyone and that's never going to change."

"Katie," he whispered into her neck, rubbing her side. "I love you."

"For now," she replied, shaking her head. "How long will that last?"

"Forever," he answered, typing in the code. "My mother should be sleeping by now."

"I hope so," she sighed. "She hates me and if she ever sees me again, well I'm better off dead."

"You take my mother too seriously," he replied and they took the elevator to the fourth floor quickly. "She won't hurt you. She wouldn't hurt a fly." The doors opened and he took her to his door. He unlocked it a moment later, ushering her in quietly before he turned the light on. "Go to my room. I'll be right there."

She pushed forward and into his room, quickly shedding the jacket and shoes. She set her purse down next and felt around under his bed to find the small bin of clean clothes she had always kept in his room since she ran away at sixteen. She peeled the lingerie off quickly, pulling on the comfier pair of undies and sleep shorts and a tank top. She tucked the worn clothes into her purse and zipped it closed.

She was so lucky to still have Ned. To be able to run away somewhere if she needed to.

She'd never expected that at eleven, let alone at ssixteen Now twenty, she was still at his side most days. He always took care of her. The only person who still cared about her, even if she didn't appreciate him as much as she should.

"Who's with you? I heard more than one set of footsteps, Ned" Delia called as Ned turned the kitchen light on. "It better not be that damn girl. I know about you waiting for her outside that damn club on Friday night."

"Mom," he sighed.

"I do not want that whore in my home or in your head," Delia yelled. "She stole from us the last time she was here."

"She did not!" Ned yelled. "She would never steal and she is not a whore. Don't talk about her like that."

"C'mon! Where are you sweetheart?" Delia called out, crossing her arms over her chest.

Katie wasn't going to at first. She was only going to stay and listen, but she respected Delia enough to listen to her when she called her name. She stepped into the hallway, looking up at his mother, who turned on her apprehensively.

"And she is in the light before my eyes," Delia chuckled, shaking her head at her. The woman's hair was in her curlers and she was in her robe, looking frazzled and tired. "I haven't seen you in over a year, what do you have to say for youself?"

"I'm not a whore," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "I may grace the pole or give a dance, but that is all. It's just to survive. I have to make money somehow. I never graduated."

"Maybe you should change that," Delia turned her nose up, laughing at the girl. "You look thin. Have you ate?"

"Yesterday," she said, looking down at her feet.

"You should make her something to eat," Delia told Ned, looking over her shoulder at him. "There is a plate in the oven for you Ned. Find something for her." She turned back to Katie. "You can stay tonight, but that's all."

"Thank you," she answered.

"Don't thank me, thank my son's stupid love for you." Delia rolled her eyes and walked to her bedroom on the right, slamming her door behind her. "Stupid girl."

Ned was at her side in a moment with a kiss to the forehead. "Are you alright?" He asked. "I'm sorry about her."

"I'm fine," she sighed, shaking her head. "I just need to shower and I guess something to eat. Nothing too fatty though, Danny wants me to slim down."

"How can you be with him when he treats you like he does?" He sighed, leaning in to smell her neck and kiss it too.

"He cares for me in his own way," she replied, shaking her head. "Not like you do, but he does care for me."

"Go take a shower and I'll make some food." He smiled and kissed her cheek. "Take as long as you'd like. I showered at the gym after work." He took her to the hall closet and gave her a towel before going back to the kitchen.

She went to the bathroom, locking it behind her. She turned the water on, letting the water warm.

She stripped the fresh clothes from her body and in the mirror, she looked at herself. The mirror had started to fog, so she brought her hand to the glass and wiped it away, looking at a fuzzy version of herself in the mirror. Her hair took up most of her picture, her body drowning behind it in frailty and pale skin. Bruises scattered her body for a various amount of reasons. THere were ones from customers that grabbed too harshly, and there were ones from where Danny and his boys grabbed or shoved her around too hard. There were bruises from where Daniel's fist had connected to her body or where his foot had kicked her. There were burns on her legs from when she's hidden something from him and he'd pressed the end of his cigarette into her stockings until she told him what he wanted to hear.

She placed her hand on her chest, unsure if she can even still feel her heart because lately, she can't feel it beating anymore. Some say they find purpose in the simplicity of their heartbeat, but she no longer knew where her purpose laid.

She was afraid, she guessed.

She could no longer feel anything as strongly as she once did. She was afraid of going completely numb, but she was also afraid of feeling something. Because quite frankly; feeling anything hurt. Feeling was what made her go numb in the first place. Every breath she took now was filled with the icy air of her heart. It pained her so much as it spread the cold blood through her veins. The coldness of her heart blurred her vision, rimming everything in red. She felt angry, all the time. She could punch a hole in a wall and turn a table over. But she couldn't, she simply sat there, letting the numbness take over her as she stepped into the shower.

The water hit her and she reached for the soap to cleanse herself.

She needed this. Maybe this would help her feel something again someday.

* * *

Katie sat on his bed after eating, her hair in its usual braid after a shower. Ned came in shortly, holding a spare blanket and sheet. He went to spread them out on the floor for himself, having even grabbed himself a pillow.

"Are you sure you want to sleep on the floor?" She asked, rubbing her arms anxiously. "I don't mind sleeping next to you. It's not like we haven't done it before."

"You deserve a night to yourself," he whispered, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "It's fine. I'm perfectly fine on the floor."

"I'd much rather sleep next to you," she replied.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"I am," she smiled softly.

When Ned held out his arms, she walked straight into them. It was the first time since in over a year that she'd given him any sort of affection. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and pulled him close. He buried his face in her hair, warmth radiated from the spot where his lips just touched her neck, slowly spreading through the rest of her.

It felt so good, so impossibly good, that she knew that this time she would not let go. Not this time.

"Katie," he whispered just above her ear. "I miss calling you that," he was trailing soft kissing along her cheek and jawline. "I miss everything we had, everything you used to be."

She silenced him with a kiss that was everything she needed and nothing she truly deserved. She'd missed his lips on hers and the taste of his skin. His strong arms snaked further down her body, his hands landed on her hips, pulling her to him.

"Me too," she whispered, laughing as held her face lovingly. "More than you know."

 _Just like old times_ , she thought, smiling at him. But it wasn't old times. They weren't together, not in the way they both wanted to be.

His calloused hands worked their way under her thin nightshirt and made direct contact with skin. He used this opportunity to push his tongue into her mouth which she eagerly accepted.

"Ned," she moaned softly and bucked her hips toward his.

When he pulled his mouth away from hers, she knew that her lips are swollen and flushing with color. He didn't stop there but instead began kissing a line from her jaw to the pulse point at the base of her neck.

"Katie," he said into her skin.

"Ned," she whined, looking into his eyes. "It's fine. Let's go to bed."

"Oh, alright," he whispered, leaning in to kiss her again.

She giggled and grabbed onto his hand, pulling him toward the bed.


	2. Chapter 2: Past

**A/N: Here's the sitch, odd chapters are in present and even chapters are in past :) Enjoy! xx Mariah**

* * *

Melinda remembered the night her mother fell ill with the sweating fever. How Jim held her when she thought she'd lose her mother and when the world had seemed so small. Jim had been there for her and she never knew she'd make it up to him, and then she had.

The first time it happened Tom Gordon was out of town, and Melinda saw it coming. She'd seen the way Jim had been looking at her; she'd felt her own belly rise with emotions and stirrings she didn't quite understand but very much enjoyed. Their kisses had been getting longer. She'd been getting bolder, running her hands over his torso, letting his drift under her shirt.

And it wasn't like when Kevin had groped at her. It was completely different.

When Jim kissed her it wasn't an excuse to grab at her body. It was to express something, some deep emotion he felt for her. And she felt it, to the very core of her, she felt the love he had for her, even if they'd never said the words 'I love you'.

She felt it in his arms, every time they were closed around her, every time they shut the world out. She felt it in his lips, every time his met hers and caressed them into opening up. She felt it in his tongue, when they finally started a slow dance. She always took longer with that; every time it felt like starting over from scratch; she lost all confidence but then they'd start again and she'd just melt into him.

This boy. God, she loved this boy. James Clancy.

When he knocked on the door, late that night, an hour after she'd called him to say that her father had finally left, she just moved towards him, her hands reaching out.

"Melinda," he had said simply. "I'm sorry for coming over so late. I just wanted to say good night." His eyes were dark, and his face was in shadow; she hadn't turned the lights on. "It was the least I could do after you called."

"I'm glad you came over, I hoped you would, that's why I called you," she had confessed, sticking her hands in her pockets. "I've missed you these past few days."

He noticed what she was wearing; a bathrobe, fluffy and white. "You're getting ready for bed," he had said.

"Yeah," she had admitted, tugging her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Okay, I should go again then," he had said. "You need to sleep."

"It's a Saturday," she had whispered. "And I don't go to church. Not anymore."

He swallowed, staring at her, blue eyes wide and crystal clear even through the dark room. "Do you know what you're saying?" He had asked, voice just a rasp now.

She tugged at the ties of the bathrobe, and Jim made a strangled sound as it fell to the floor. And then he was moving towards her, sweeping her up into his arms, kissing her like his life depended on it.

"You're beautiful," he had gasped, his hands running over her bare body, nude for him. Only for him. "So beautiful. You always have been."

"You make me believe that Jim," she had breathed. "And make me believe it's not a bad thing."

"It could never be a bad thing," he had groaned.

He tugged her bottom lip in between his as his hands covered her breasts; his palms were rough but his touch was gentle.

So gentle. Always gentle.

He was going to take her to bed. They would make it to bed.

* * *

It had happened again, and again, and again.

They learned how to be sneaky.

She'd say she was going to Andrea's or Holly's and it worked, for a time. But once that failed her father locked her away. She was sent to a church camp for sexually promiscuous girls and they basically threw the Bible at her.

Her week there didn't change anything. She still lusted for Jim when she came home, the way they moved together as one and made love. It was amazing.

But with those actions, comes responsibilities.

It was one January day when she found out she was pregnant and her father had found out in February. He locked her away in her room and told her it would help her ease her sins every time she'd pound on the door. She never stopped crying, but she knew deep down that Jim was better off not knowing about the child she was carrying inside her.

She remembered feeling the baby flutter and move, and how special it was when the baby would kick and she could see the tiny imprint of a foot.

It was those moments that made her feel whole, the way she interacted with her child almost made her happy. Even though she knew that her father would never let her keep the little one.

Months passed and soon it was that night.

She woke with a start, feeling the sudden urge to go the bathroom. She crawled out of bed and waddled to the door, knocking quickly.

"Daddy I need to go the bathroom," she begged and heard him grunt.

He crossed the floor and he unlocked the door.

"Go before I change my mind," Tom sneered.

She ran as fast as she could and as I sat on the toilet and relieved herself, she nearly fell asleep again. That's when she realized that it was taking too long. She frowned and sat there, wondering what this could possibly be, and then it came to her.

Her water had broken. Her first instinct was to panic. She didn't want her time with her child to be over.

But what was the point?

There was no stopping anything now. She wondered why she hadn't felt any contractions, and as if to answer her question, her gut contracted and let out a muffled groan. She was surprised by how sharp it felt, how deep and wrenching it was.

This was no practice contraction.

This was real and this was happening, right now.

"Daddy," she called, shuffling over to the hallway, breathing heavily and holding her stomach tightly in her hands. "Daddy, my water broke."

"Let's get you to the hospital," he simply groaned.

* * *

The nurse came over to me and pressed her hands to her belly, feeling around and smiling. She couldn't have been much older than herself, but had the patience and knowledge of an older woman.

"When was your last contraction Melinda?" The nurse asked.

She leaned back, letting her feel around. "Just before you walked in. Before that… ten minutes ago?"

The nurse nodded, her eyes far away, as if she can see inside of her. "George," the nurse said without turning to the man behind, "Fetch Dr. Dryke. She'll know what to bring."

He nodded and dashed out the door.

"Now that he's out from under our feet…" She finally let herself laugh, and the nurse smiled at her, then set about gathering up blankets.

"Can you promise me something?" She asked, another contraction came on, and she held her breath, counting the seconds until it passed. "My father, he won't want me to hold her."

"Her?" The nurse asked.

"I just have a feeling," she smiled. "He'll want me to give her away without thinking or looking at her... and that's not what I want."

"I'll do what I can," the nurse said softly as her father entered. "Now, I'm going to check how far you've dilated…" She put on gloves, spread her legs and examined. She shifted at the intrusion but let her do her work, knowing that there's more of this to come, and that a few fingers inside of her will be nothing compared to a whole baby. When she finished, she smiled and took off the gloves. "You're at seven centimeters," she says. "We won't have you push till you're at ten, understand?" She's reverted to her nursing attitude, but it's laced with affection. "Until then, we'll just try and keep you comfortable. Would you like a glass of water?"

"No," her father muttered. "This is her fault, she doesn't get special treatment."

"Where is your mother?" The nurse asked.

"Dead and never coming back." Her father adjusted the newspaper he was reading.

"I'll be right back," the nurse smiled.

She nodded, unable to speak because another contraction had come on. She groaned a little, and the nurse turned back to me.

"Breathe through it, Melinda. That's it. Just breathe." She did as she instructed, but the pain was sharp, and she didn't unclench her fists until it passed.

The doctor entered and excused herself with her father, saying she'd be back in a moment.

The nurse fetched a glass of water for her, and she sipped at it.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"He'll be gone for the birth, but that's all I can do for you sweetheart. He is your father." The nurse explained sadly. "I'm sorry you lost your mother."

Melinda nodded and sipped at the water again. No matter how hard she tried she knew she couldn't do this. She didn't know how she was going to do this all alone.

"Be brave, Melinda. I know you can do it." The nurse reassured her on her way out of the room.

* * *

The hours seemed to pass excruciatingly slow and fly by all at once.

The doctor returned within the hour that she left. Her doctor was calm and collected, if tired looking, and she pulled the nurse aside and spoke in hushed tones.

Dr. Dryke came over and performed a quick examination on her, doing all the same things the nurse had done earlier. "Lovely. You're coming along nicely." When Dryke pulled her hand away, she smiled.

As her contractions began to lengthen and gain in intensity, she began to rethink her definitions of pain. A low sitting pressure burned in her pelvis, and the hurt radiated through her body. The nurse sat on the bed beside her, letting her crush her hand when a contraction came, wiping her brow with a cool wash rag when she began to sweat, holding the bowl for her when she became sick. She stuffed pillows behind her back to prop her up, moved them away when she thrashed about and wanted to lie flat. Just like her mother would've done.

"What's your name?" She gasped, holding tighter to her hand.

"Larissa," the nurse smiled. "You can call me that if you'd like."

"Okay," she cried at the pain and relaxed when it was gone.

Larissa and Dr. Dryke periodically checked how much she was dilated, her blood pressure, her pulse. Everything was normal. After two hours of lying in the bed, suffering through ever intensifying contractions, she simply could not take it anymore.

"I can't lay here anymore," she snapped.

"Let's walk then," Larissa offered, and she nodded in relief.

The nurse helped her off the bed and they begin to pace around the room. It seemed to help, and when the next contraction came, Melinda doubled over and groaned with the pain.

The world seemed to shrink down to just her body in the course of the rest of the night. By the early sunlight of dawn, she could no longer stand, and returned to the bed. She began to wonder if she really could do this.

The sun came in through the windows not long after she laid down. Contractions ripped through her, one

after another, and she curled into herself on the mattress, groaning.

She clenched Larissa's hand because of a contraction, one that made her cry out.

"That one sounded good," Dr. Dryke chirped and came over to the bed and asked her to open her legs for another examination. "Well, you're completely dilated. We can start pushing now."

Here it was, the big moment. Her heart pounded in her chest and she took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. This shift in position suddenly seemed to make the pressure all the more urgent, and she felt like crying from all of the anxiety that had suddenly sprung up in her mind. Will she be healthy? Will there be anything wrong with her? Will it be a boy instead of a girl? She hadn't even picked a name out!

"Melinda!" She snapped out of it to look down at Larissa, who was kneeling on the bed between her open legs. "I need you to focus. On the next contraction, I want you to bear down into your bottom and push, okay?"

She nodded rapidly and sucked in a breath, and then another. The next contraction came on, and she took the deepest breath she could and then held it and pushed. Larissa counted to ten out loud and then she released her breath, panting.

"That was really good, Melinda." Larissa whispered. "Are you ready to do it again?"

Push after push, she somehow managed to throw her remaining strength into each one. When she released her breath from the seventh or eighth push, she let out a weak whimper. Her body was taut like a bowstring, ready to snap, ready to be released.

"One more, Melinda, I can see the head!" Larissa grinned. "You can do it. She's right there. You can do it." Larissa reached behind her for another blanket and spread it beneath her legs. "One more. One more and then she'll be here, I promise, just one more and all of this will be over…"

This was it. She took a breath and bared down, putting all she had left into it. A slow scream worked its way out of her throat and she felt like every knife in the house was stabbing her, cutting her to pieces. It was a crying scream and then all at once, like the rush of a wave, she felt her child slip from her as Larissa was grinned and Dr. Dryke did too while different nurse rushing for another towel.

"It's a girl!" Larissa held the screaming newborn in her arms.

There she was, her bloody, beautiful baby girl, squalling at the top of her little lungs, and Melinda was in love. The force of it could have knocked her over. Larissa laid the baby on her chest, shaking and screaming and still covered in blood and goo, but she was perfect.

She laughed and cried at the same time. "Hi," she whispered. "Hi, babygirl."

Larissa cut the umbilical cord, and Dr. Dryke came over to collect the baby and clean her up. She didn't want her to leave, but she knew that she needed to be looked over.

"Everything looks good," Larissa said as she wrapped up the afterbirth. "No excess bleeding, but you did tear so I'm going to stitch you up…"

"Are you sure you want to give her up?" Dr. Dryke brought her daughter back to her.

"I... uhh—my father would never let me keep her. I don't know where else I would go," she whispered and laid the bundle on her chest. "But, she's perfect." A head full of dark hair topped her head. She opened her eyes and they were the same blue as her father's. Melinda rubbed her finger over her cheek and felt her lip trembling. Her daughter's bottom lip stuck out in a pout, as if she was upset that she's out of the womb, and she grinned, tears flowing freely down her face. "Hello, little one," she whispered, and the baby blinked slowly at her, yawns, and closed her eyes. "You have your daddy's eyes."

Her heart melted in her chest.

Was it always going to be this heartbreaking?

No, because she had to give her away.

She was exhausted beyond anything she'd ever known, but she didn't care. She reached out and nudged her little hand, her tiny fingers curling around her larger one.

"I hope you know that I love you," she whispered. "I'll find you again. I promise."

"I'm going to need to take her if you aren't going to keep her," Dr. Dryke said softly.

"Can I write her a letter?" She asked.

"Of course," Dr. Dryke smiled. "We have a family waiting for her and they would be happy to have you involved in her life."

She sat up and Dr. Dryke gave her a pen and paper and she immediately started to write.

What she wrote was short and sealed in an envelope with a tearful kiss.

"I don't want to give her up, but he's making me. You have to make sure they tell her that," she looked down at the peacefully sleeping infant.

"I'll tell them," Dr. Dryke said softly and picked up the little girl. "They will take good care of her. I promise."

Melinda turned onto her side and stared at the wall because that's all she could do to keep her from taking her back.


	3. Chapter 3: Present

**A/N: This chapter picks up the early morning after the first chapter's events. Enjoy xx Mariah**

* * *

Ned woke to his alarm at five that morning. He laid back in bed, rubbing his eyes and sighing as he looked over at the young woman asleep next to him.

He woke with an ache in his head and light stinging his eyes. The day changed things, caution turning to intention. The moonlight changed things, enhanced things. The morning destroyed that.

As she turned in bed, laying her head on his chest, he doesn't say a word; just drinks in the way her pale skin turned to shadows in the dark and the way her lip and nose scrunched up as she settled. He lost his breath and counted her heartbeat against his own to calm him down.

The closeness had his head swimming in love and his heart doubling in size and maybe all that he saw was not a fairy tale, but it bloody well could be.

She woke up to the smell of his cologne and the feel of his hand in her hair. The soft rubbing of her scalp, his fingers scratching ever so slightly.

"What time is it?" She smacked her lips together for the dryness as she rolled her head to look up at him.

"Half past five," he whispered.

"Why are you up?" She turned onto her side and rolled away.

"I have to work at seven," he rolled onto his side, wrapping his arms around her waist and pressing his lips to her neck. "I was gonna make breakfast."

"Ned," she groaned, her laugh staying in the back of her throat as she leaned into him. "It's really early for me. I'm still waking up," she leaned into his chest, letting his arms wrap around her.

"I am too," he groaned into her ear, his lips moving to mark her on her neck.

She felt him press into her back and she giggled, moving around in his arms and kissing him. "Mmm… I definitely feel you," she giggled. "I want you."

That was all he needed to hear.

* * *

Katie woke as Ned was leaving and smiled at him. He was so handsome in his uniform, but something was different about it from the last time she saw him..

"I have to go to work, but there's some food on the nightstand for you." He smiled, the gold and blue badge glimmering in the light.

She traced her finger over the writing, looking up at him a moment later.

"You're a detective now?" She asked as she sat up, letting the sheet fall from her.

"Uh yeah," he itched his head. "I was fast-tracked out of patrolling last month."

"Congratulations," she smiled and grabbed the plate. She began to eat the toast first, dunking it in the yolk of the eggs. "I guess you should be going then."

"Soon," he said, looking at his watch. "My partner will honk when he's outside. I'll hear him."

She nodded, taking a bite of the eggs then. He sat with her for another few minutes while she ate until they both heard a honk come from outside.

"That must be your ride," she said, taking a bite of the last piece of bacon on her plate. "I should probably get going now too."

"You're fine," he said, leaning in to kiss her cheek as he took her finished plate. "You can sleep a little more if you want. It's only seven."

"It's fine. I need to get back. I have some business to take care of," she reassured him, moving off the bed. "You should get going."

"Uh, yeah," he stood up from the bed, his eyes lingering on the jiggle of her ass as she pulled an old pair of her jeans on. "I'll try and call you later. You still have that phone I gave you, right?"

She pulled it out of her pile of lingerie from the night before and nodded. "Yeah, I've got it," she said, sliding it into her front pocket as she grabbed her clothes from the night before. "I always keep it on me."

"Good," he came over to her after setting the plate on his nightstand, pressing a kiss to her lips. "I don't want to lose you."

"You won't lose me," she whispered, kissing him again. The car honked again. "Better get out there, Banks."

"I'm going," he whispered against her lips, pulling back rather slowly before he tugged her along with him.

They walked down together, riding the elevator quietly holding hands. They let go as Ned held the door open for her and he sprinted toward the car, not even looking behind him as he jumped in and buckled up.

"You take that long again Banks and I'll have you on late shift faster than you can say you're sorry," she heard his partner say to him through the open window. "Is that your girl?"

Ned turned to look at his partner and sighed. His partner was one of the most level-headed men he'd ever met. He aspired to be like him, the caring, nonaccusatory cop. The one that pulled enough people over to meet the quota, but also just gave a lot of warnings.

Jim was the reason Ned had his mom teach him how to iron. Jim's uniform was always freshly pressed and clean for every shift and Ned did not want to disappoint him. Ever.

"Yeah. I'm sorry, Jim. It's been a rough morning," Ned looked over at Katie as she leaned in to talk to him through his rolled down window. "I'll see you soon?"

"I don't know," she sighed and started to walk away. "I have to go meet with Danny and get ready for work later at the club, so I guess I'll talk to you later when you call."

"Alright. Be safe," he grabbed hold of her hand. "And you know what I mean."

"Yeah. You know I always take care of myself," she smiled at him before turning around and dashing down the block and around the corner.

"Danny as in Danny Larson?" Jim asked as he pulled out onto the road.

"That'd be him," he sighed.

"We've been trying to nail that guy for years and your girlfriend just so happens to be tied to him?" Jim asked, rubbing his jaw. "What's her name? Why have you never mentioned this before to me in the last month?"

"Katherine is not my girlfriend anymore, Larson made sure of that. I haven't seen her in months actually, I just always wait outside the club for her on Friday night, but the last few she hasn't been there." He answered, sinking into his seat as he buckled up. "Not that any of that matters because she's not the girl I fell in love with anymore. I feel like I should just give up."

"I know that feeling," Jim replied as he stopped at a stoplight. "But instead of a seedy drug dealer, it was her father."

"Oh?" He asked. "Did you love her?"

"I did and one day we were there, together, and the next she was gone for month and months and when she came back she just wasn't the same anymore," Jim answered, shaking his head. "I don't know what happened, but I guess it's old news. I still see her around once and a while when I go home to see my mother, but I think she's married."

"Do something about it then," he laughed. "You're a catch. Isn't Sarge thinking about putting you up as his replacement? There's no way she'd turn you down then?"

"Ned, the last time I talked to her it was 1975." Jim chuckled, shaking his head at the boy as he took a turn down the next street. "It's been almost twenty years and far too late for us to fix anything."

"It's never too late," he said. "You just gotta try."

"Maybe another day rookie, but let's get off this subject. Alright?" Jim said as he parked the car outside the precinct. "Why don't you tell me about this ex-girlfriend of yours and why she was at your place so early this morning?"

* * *

When they walked into Cray Z's, Ned's first thought was horror.

The women were barely wearing anything. His heart went out to the women who were forced into these jobs by men like Daniel, even as his jeans became tighter. God, sometimes he hated being a man.

"What can I do for you?" The waitress cooed, her breasts almost falling out of her corset-like top. "A beer will help you relax after a long day at work…" She straightened his badge with a smile and rubbed her hand up his arm.

Ned had to remind himself that he had to keep his cool and held back the urge to yank his arm away from the woman. "My partner and I…"

Jim clapped his arm around Ned to silence him. "We'll have a table and two scotches, neat."

The woman nodded and showed them to a table near the main ole, where a woman was sliding down by her ankles dressed in the smallest swimsuit he'd ever seen. "Why are we getting a table?" Ned groaned.

"After the good work we did on the job today, it's time for some fun." Jim chuckled, trying to stay as out of the security's eye as possible. He leaned in to say the next thing. "Just keep a level head. We can get a better look around here from a table."

Cray Z's was a sleaziest strip club where all the girl had some sort of aura that just attracted guys, such as the as the woman currently on the stage did.

Ned didn't think too much of her. He shook his head as the waitress brought them both drinks and Jim plopped down next to him.

"See anyone you like?" The girl asked, sitting down next to him.

"Not really," he muttered, siping at his scotch.

"Keep looking," the girl said, running her fingernail up against as he sipped his scotch. "What about me? I could give you a good time?"

That's when he saw her. Katie, the girl who's had his heart since he was eleven. She was sitting on Danny's lap at his table, just in front of the stage. There were a few other men scattered around the table, the highest goons in his ranks, talking amongst each other.

As Ned ignored the waitress' advances, she eventually got up and left him alone. He downed his drink as he watched one of Daniel's friends kiss Katie's palm.

"What?" Jim chuckled and looked around. "Oh? Your girl works here too?"

"The past couple years," he muttered as Danny nodded to his friend, slapping Katie's ass with a chuckled as she stood.

"You're mine, for an hour at least," the man who held her hand sneered as he kissed her neck, sliding a hundred dollar bill into her bra. He pulled out a small baggie, holding it near her face. "And maybe some snow?"

She snatched it out of his hand. "All you had to do was ask Reggie," she smiled at him, rubbing her hand against his chest as he pulled her in, squeezing her ass in his hand. "Wanna go somewhere quiet for your usual?"

"Please," the man begged.

"I know just where to take you," she smiled. "Follow me."

"Isn't she the best?" Danny chuckled, snapping for another girl to sit on his lap. "Heya, beautiful. How's your night going?"

"We have to do something," he muttered. "I can't just stand here and-"

"Sit back lover boy or you're gonna get yourself killed," Jim said pushing him back into his seat. "Order yourself another drink. We can't do anything unless he does something illegal. She took him back there. Anything she does was of her own moral compass."

"Jim, come on," he begged. "This is my girl were talking about. I don't know what could happen to her back there."

"She'll be okay," Jim said softly. "From what you've told me, she's certainly been through quite a lot."

"Yeah, I guess she can hold her own," he sighed. "I just don't want her thinking this is all she's worth."

* * *

He waited, drinking two more drinks before Katherine returned. It seemed as though the whole crowd fell silent as Katherine approached the table.

"How about a refill?" She asked, eyeing him and Jim's drinks. "For you too?"

"I'll have a beer instead," Jim said, turning to see her. "Why would a girl like you work here?"

"Good question. It seems like I never have an answer though," she said, leaning in real close to grab his glass. "The same for you Ned?"

"Make mine a beer too," Ned sighed, unable to lift his eyes to look at her. He couldn't anymore. He just couldn't.

"I told you not to come here," she sighed, taking his glass as she left. "You knew what you could see if you did."

"She did warn you," Jim muttered under his breath. "It's just a job, Ned."

She came back with two, cold beers, sliding into the booth next to Ned. "I'm sorry if you saw him say or do something." She sighed.

"I saw you, with that man. You called him Reggie,"

"He's one Danny's… investors. He pays a lot, for a little." She sighed, explaining to him. "Most of the money is for discretion. He's married to some bigwig lawyer from Fifth Avenue that has a deal with Danny to represent him whenever he needs her to."

Jim silently drank his beer beside them, watching the girls around them. It was hard not to look. Ned didn't blame the man, but he certainly thanked him internally for not beating him when he heard how much Katherine knew into Danny's business and he still didn't tell him about her.

Ned leaned into Katie's neck, breathing in the smell of her hair and perfume. "Can I talk to you? In private?" He asked, holding a fifty dollar bill in between his fingers to her.

"Okay," she blinked at him and took him to her room, watching the girls smile at her as she left her top behind her.

"He's a real cutie and has a badge," one girl said excitedly.

Another came up to her before she had a chance to close the door. "He'll pay big time for a good finish you know if you're still not ready then send him over to me."

She slammed the door behind her and locked it, looking at him before straddling his lap.

"You don't have to," he touched her hips, looking up at her. He gulped as she rubbed against him, just the way he liked. She had a knack for that. "I just wanted to talk."

"You paid for it," she answered.

"So I could see you without eyes on us," he shook his head, touching her arms. "Are you okay? What did that man pay for?"

"It's not your job to take care of me," she whispered and ground again in the way he liked. "And it's none of your business what I do for work."

Under her, his hips twisted and started to thrust. She felt his body tense as he fought to control himself, to keep control. Against her better judgment and her own rules for other customers, she took his hands and placed them on her breasts.

He wasn't just another customer. He was Ned.

She reached down to palm him and she tugged his head to hers and kissed him before she could stop herself. He groaned into her mouth while his left hand went to her hair. He shoved as much of his tongue into her mouth as he could. Her own tongue flowed over his to twist in the time with her hip movement.

She released his erection from his pants a second later and let him slip inside her, riding him faster as he pushed into her harder and deeper.

"Oh God," he yelped and brought her mouth back to his. "You're…. You're crazy."

He took hold of her legs, moving her to the floor as carefully as he could with her underneath him. He held her, spreading her legs and pinning them over his shoulders.

Her arms wrapped around his neck, and her face fell to his shoulder, allowing him to be the only one to hear every moan, whimper, and gasp that escaped her. He moved in her at a punishing speed as his hands gripped the swells of her ass, and his teeth sunk into the flesh on her shoulder causing her to yell.

With a few more thrusts he felt her tighten completely as she called out a guttural version of his name and her nails dig into his chest. Her tightness milked him, and he cried out.

They made out as deep as they could, as slow as they could until a loud knocking came to her door. She yanked her mouth from his and looked at him with wide eyes.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as her hand slipped from his hair. "You have to go."

"Don't go back," he pulled her to kiss her again, but she shook her head and wiped away her tears.

"Time's up, Ned. You have to go." She whispered.

"You have to be kidding me," he whispered, closing his eyes as he moved off her and fixed his pants, letting his shirt and belt to be undone. "Don't go back to him."

She forced herself up and slid her robe on, turning to face him with a shaky breath.

"Have a good night, Ned. I'm sorry about what you saw," she said, backing away from him.

"Do you do this with all your customers?" He asked, standing up.

"No," she answered. "I'm not some prostitute. I only give them dances, but you're different."

"How?" He asked.

"I love you," she said and with that, she left the room.

The girls cheered and gave her a drink.

"Was he good?" One of the girls asked.

"Oooh tell us all about his… you know," another girl giggled, taking a sip of her vodka.

"Umm I have to find Danny first," she said, excusing herself and running out to the main club.

She saw Ned by his partner, who was finishing his drink quickly. They were getting up to leave. She wanted to go with them before Danny found out about who she'd taken into her room.

"You were with him last night too, weren't you? WEREN'T YOU?" Everyone's eyes were on them now as Daniel threw his drink at the wall, coming toward her with a quick pace. She saw Ned turn, daring to come intervene, but his partner sat him down before he could do anything. "Don't you lie to me, you whore. I want you to tell me the truth, did you fuck that boy of yours last night?" Danny shoved her into the wall, yanking the robe off her and throwing it in the trash nearby. He grabbed at her neck, craning to see the marks on her neck and the ones by her hips. "And if you're anything with him like you are with me, then you slept with him this morning too..."

"Danny, baby," she muttered as he cornered her, holding her face in his hands. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"No, you aren't," he sneered, his right hand moved through her hair and to her roots, grabbing ahold of her. "You're just sorry I found out, little slut." He held her close by her hair and yanked her into the back office. He slammed her into the floor. "Don't Danny, baby, me. You fucked him after everything?"

"Danny, he's different." She whimpered, on her hands and knees. "He's always been there. He's always taken care of me. I love him."

"Girls like you don't get guys like him," he whispered, kicking the front of his boot into her stomach. She flew onto her back and gasped for air as he did it again, and again. "And this," he grabbed the wad of bills from her bra. "This money is mine." He pulled her up by her hair, hearing her whimper as he held her near his face on her knees. "Girls like you deserve to be treated like whores and since you want to act like one and fuck other guys then I'll start treating you like one, sweetheart."

"Danny," she pleaded. "I'm sorry. Baby, I'm sorry. Do you want me to kick him from my life? You know how are hard that is for me, but I will do it..." She brought her lips to his, her own tears leaking into both of their mouths. "I will do it, Dan! I will show you that I love you more than I ever did him."

"What's done is done," he sneered and grabbed her jaw. "But pretty boy, oh, he'll fucking pay for ever touching you again." The rage seemed to build in the walls of his heart until it broke through into her veins. It welled up through his body into his very fingertips, clenching his hands into fists until his knuckles felt as though they would protrude through her skin. And all at once, the rage took action. He reeled his arm back and threw his fist into her cheek, He punched her again, feeling her jaw break under his rage as he shoved her body to the ground. "You've always looked better with your face down and ass in the air, baby."

He smacked her ass roughly, leaving a bruise. Her face was pushed into the moldy carpet as he started to unbutton his pants and push them down around his ankles, followed by his boxers. She heard the clothes fall to the floor and she squeezed her eyes shut.

"Please Dan, don't do this." Her voice was barely a weak whisper.

"You always want me," he groaned, grasping himself and working himself hard. When he was ready, he approached her from behind and reached around to grab her breast. Palming it roughly, he leaned in and bit her neck and she cried out. "Does this turn you on, babe? Do you like being dominated? You want me to fuck you so hard you can't see straight?"

She tossed her head, pleading once again for him to stop but he ignored her and lined himself up with her entrance. She wasn't at all ready for him and he bit his lip as he pushed into her tight warmth. He gripped her hips as he thrust into her, hearing another bloodcurdling scream.

He felt dizzy for a moment, groaning in her ear. "You want me," he smacked her ass. "All you girls do." He pulled out for a moment before thrusting back in and he threw his head back in pleasure. "Oh fuck," he panted, feeling himself getting close. He released inside her and pulled out, backing away from her. "Fix yourself up and go home," he muttered. "You're done for tonight." He opened the door and scratched his jaw. "Kenny!" The newest addition to his band of men entered the room, chuckling at the sight of her on the floor. "I have a job for you," he cleared his throat. "You know the boy you saw her with earlier?"

"The pig?" Kenny asked. "Yeah. I remember him."

"Yeah, that's him," he smiled, handing him several hundred dollar bills. "Go wild on him."

"How bad boss?" Kenny asked, using his foot to turn Katie on her back, so he could get a glance at her chest. "Oh, her face isn't so pretty."

"Just fart enough to show her that if she fucks him again, he's dead." He said and patted his shoulder. "I want it done tonight and when you're done… call Paco. He knows how to deal with these things and make it look the way we want it too."

She was losing her mind again. She could feel it unraveling, the threads of every happy memory she could ever once recall, all but a disarray of strings scattered about her feet.

She could never truly be happy if she was with Danny, but she could never get away from him and his boys. They'd hunt her down. Find her and kill everybody who helped because that was just what they did.

Her body ached as she laid there on the carpeted floor, her hands unsteady as they silently clawed at the floor. She tried to open her mouth, but she couldn't and not a sound came out, only the sound of her gasps as she tried to breathe.

Another panic attack.

Her head violently quivered as if there was a drill to the back of his skull. Her eyes saw nothing; they had lost all sight of what was and what could have been. Her mouth was open, an eternal silenced scream, blood dripping from behind her teeth and onto the ground, stained with the memory of those she'd ever loved.

Katie finally cried when the raw pain inside her was too much to be contained. She cried like her spirit needed to break loose from her skin, desperate to release an elemental rage on the world.


	4. Chapter 4: Past

**A/N: The first six years of Katherine's life :) Enjoy xx Mariah**

* * *

Dr. Dryke took one last look at the young girl in the hospital bed before glancing to the calm and sleeping baby girl in her arms.

She'd never even said her daughter's name allowed, only written it in out on the envelope.

 _My sweet girl, Katherine Ann_

Must've been too hard.

Jessica Dryke had seen too many teenage girls be forced to give their children away out of fear of abandonment by their own families.

This had been a last minute call to a family who had lost their last baby who'd been put up to adoption to a mother who changed her mind, and they'd jumped at the opportunity.

Who knew another baby girl would be up for adoption within hours of the other?

Katherine's first last name was Johnson, she had gotten it from her first family.

Amanda and Nolan Johnson were nice people who wanted a child so badly but had never been able to conceive. Amanda fell in love with Katherine the moment she first saw her. Even though she was not able to remember it, Katherine had a great first four years of life.

Her adoptive parents held her when she cried and even recorded her first steps. Everything was perfect until one day Amanda died on her walk home from the library, a brain aneurysm, crippling Nolan with a depression and even though he loved Katie very much, he knew he would not be able to give her as much attention as she would need with a hole in his heart, so Nolan made the decision to put her in the foster system thinking that she would have a better life, and boy was he wrong.

* * *

At four years old Katie found herself riding in the back seat of her car with her social worker Evelyn Taylor. She was nervous, had pretty eyes and blonde hair.

"It's my first day, you know." Evelyn confided with the little girl, smiling at her through the rearview mirror. "You hungry?"

"No, my daddy made me french toast this morning." Katie giggled, looking out the window. "He hasn't been feeling good since my mommy went to heaven... am I going there too? Is that why you took me?"

"No, honey," Evelyn said softly and looked tearful at the little girl. "You aren't going to heaven."

She didn't understand her and just furrowed her brow.

"Where are we going? Why did daddy say he was sorry?" She asked.

Evelyn did the best she could at explaining was happening to her and promised that her new family would be just as nice as her other one.

When they got to the house, the door was ajar and a teenage boy could be heard screaming inside.

Katie refused to get out of the car seat. She was not going into the scary house.

Evelyn knew that this probably was not the best home for a little girl, but nobody was in the mood to adopt a four year old. Especially because they believed there was probably something wrong with her, the reason why her other family gave her up. No one ever cared to know the truth.

"Come on, Katie please get out of the car." Evelyn pleaded. "Please."

Tears streamed down Katie's face but she finally gave in. "I want to go to heaven with my mommy," she cried.

"I know you do," Evelyn lifted her up from the chair and grabbed a bag of her things. "But your mommy, she wants you to be happy and one day you will understand. Okay?"

"Why did she leave?" She asked. "Why would she do that?"

This little girl was too beautiful on the inside to be in the system, her eyes pushed for answers as Evelyn set her down on the steps and she hugged her.

"I don't know why she left sweetheart," Evelyn said softly. "But I do know that she didn't go because she wanted to. She loved you, you know that, right?" The little girl nodded, wiping away her tears. "Then just remember that, alright?"

Evelyn rang the door bell to the already open home.

"Come in," somebody shouted from deep inside.

Evelyn braced herself as she pushed the door open revealing a disgusting home. Trash was littered everywhere along with clothes and random scraps of food. Katie grabbed her hand and pushed her face into her skirt as they walked inside.

"I'm in the kitchen." The voice which according to the papers belonged to Karen, her new foster mother. "You must be the social worker. I'm Karen." On her way to what she guessed was the kitchen she passed an old man asleep on the couch, two boys about the age of seven watching Scooby-Doo at full volume, the teenage boy who was heard yelling earlier sat smoking on the staircase and Karen seemed to be making some sort of dinner in the kitchen. "Is this the girl?" Karen wiped her hands on the towel nearby and walked toward her. "She's a cutie."

"Yes, this is Katie." Evelyn rubbed the little girl's head as Katie's grip tightened. "You know if this is inconvenient for you I can drop her off some other time.,."

"No, this is fine. I just wasn't expecting you for another few hours," Katie reached her arms out for the girl. "I would've cleaned up a bit. Come on Mattie."

"Her name is Katie," Evelyn muttered.

"Oh well, whatever. So you said the check was already on its way right?" Karen asked, smiling at the little girl and then at Evelyn.

"Yes, but I'm not really sure this is going to be a good fit." Evelyn coughed. "You already have three children in your care according to your report. One biological and two foster, correct.

"Yup. Beggars can't be choosers. Come here baby." Karen grabbed Katie from Evelyn's leg and she started to cry the second the woman started to hold her. "We're gonna have fun. I promise." She continued to cry and Karen scoffed and plopped her on the floor. "Cry all you want then. I don't give a shit."

Evelyn knelt down to say goodbye and hugged the little girl. "Listen Katie, I'm going to get you out of here as soon as I can even if it means taking you home with me." Evelyn whispered. "Just be a good little girl... please? Just for today and I promise that by tomorrow I'll get you out of here." Katie reached for her again, but she couldn't do anything about it. "This is a bag of her things."

"Okay, great. Close the door on your way out." As Evelyn left the room she heard Katie's screams echo throughout the house.

* * *

It had taken long than expected before Evelyn found a family much better suited for a little girl and gladly went to recuse Katie. A whole week. She knew that Karen was not going to be willing to give up the check that came with Katie without a fight, so she brought her boyfriend for reinforcements.

"If it takes longer than ten minutes, ring the doorbell." She told Steve. "Also you should be driving, so worse case scenario I jump in the car and we drive away before putting Katie in the back."

"Relax Eve, its not going to be that bad." Steve said and rubbed her leg.

"That mother looked at Katie like she was a big dollar sign, and Katie... she just lost her mother and then her father just gave her up like she was nothing. She'd gotten lucky to get them in the first place with her biological folks gave her up, but she looked at me like I had given up on her just like her dad did."

When they arrived to the house Evelyn saw that teenage boy smoking outside.

She took steps with caution and felt Steve's hand on her side in support.

"Hi. I'm Katie's social worker. Is your mother around?" She asked.

"Who is Katie?" He asked.

"The little girl I dropped off here about a week ago. Brown hair, big curious eyes, four years old." She explained.

"You mean Mattie?" He muttered. "Please tell me you are taking that little shit away... she has not stopped crying since you dropped her off."

"Yeah well maybe because her name is Katie," Evelyn raised her voice, but she knew that it was no use to argue. "Anyways can I speak to Karen."

He gestured toward the door and she left Steve behind her, arms crossed over his chest as he watched his girlfriend go inside the house.

It was still a pigsty.

She went inside and looked around for a moment before seeing Katie sitting on the stairs in tears.

"Katie!" The girl turned at her name, wiping away her tears as she ran her.

Evelyn quickly picked up the girl and held her tightly before standing up. Katie rested her head on her chest, finally feeling a bit of safety.

Karen came down the stairs relieved that 'Mattie' had finally stopped crying.

"What are you doing here?" Karen sneered.

"Sorry, but I found a better home for her." She answered.

"You can't take her away, she is my baby." Karen muttered, going to grab the girl.

"I'm not talking about the check she came with," she replied. "I'm talking about Katie, the girl who you don't even call by her name. Now go pack her bags."

"No, you can't I need her. She is happy here." Karen exclaimed.

"So that's why I found her crying on the floor?" She asked.

"Fine, but I want another kid though." Karen answered. "One that doesn't have any problems... maybe a little bit older."

"I'll be sure to put in a good word for you amongst the other social workers," she lied.

Karen threw Katie's unopened bag at Evelyn, and with that, she walked out.

"Thank you," Katie finally spoke and hugged her tighter.

* * *

The next family Katie ended up in was pretty great.

Catherine Sanders was a homey woman who loved to bake and John Sanders, her foster father was a little distant at times because of work, but they cared for her and their four year old daughter, Hannah, who loved having a sister her age to play with.

They made sure to put Katie in a good preschool and eventual elementary school and for the most part, she was content.

She was fed, happy and had someone to always play with. They even had a pool! Everything was going smoothly until John decided to sleep with his secretary, Catherine's older sister.

One Friday after, John picked Katie and Hannah up from school and was greeted by a very mad Catherine. As they walked through the door Catherine gave both girls a towel and told them to go swim.

At the time swimming could pretty much bribe the girls into doing anything, so the two girls swam and pretended to be mermaids in a way to ignore the screaming from inside.

About an hour later John came outside.

"Hey, girls, its time to go back inside now." John held their towels up and helped them out and carried them inside, careful that they didn't walk on any of the broken glass or get grass on the new wood floors.

"I told you to get out of my house," Catherine screamed.

She would have thrown another plate if the girls weren't there.

"Mommy?" Hannah asked. "Where's daddy going?"

Catherine took Hannah out of John's arms.

"Say goodbye girls," she said to them as Katie was set down next to Catherine. "Daddy is going away for a while."

Catherine immediately took Katie upstairs and started to pack her bags. She waited until John left the house to call Evelyn.

The next day Evelyn was there with a smile and hug for Katie, who had grown so much since the last time she'd saw her.

"Evelyn, I'm sorry, but I can't take care of her right now. Not after what John did to me." She said as they watched Katie run off to go and play with Hannah again. "I need to get everything fixed again before I bring her back. She can't be here when I'm at my worst moments."

"Are you planning on getting her back in the future?" Evelyn asked.

"Yes." she said as she looked over to watch Katie play tag with Hannah carefully. "She's so sweet, and kind and doesn't deserve this, but I can't."

"You have to understand that I will have to find her a new home for her to stay in, and she may not be able to ever live with you again." Evelyn explained. "Are you willing to give her up?"

"I have to," she answered.

Katie did not understand why Catherine was crying and was making her stop playing with Hannah. Evelyn had a suitcase beside her, something Katie vaguely recognized from before.

"I'm so sorry baby. I'm sorry." She whispered into Katie's hair as she pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Han, say goodbye."

"Katie too?" Hannah cried as she hugged the girl. "I'm sorry Katie. I loved playing with you. You are the best sister I've ever had!"

Evelyn once again tried to convince Catherine that she should keep Katie. That she was just mad at John and acting irrationally, when really she was fully capable of taking care of the little girl by herself.

"Are you sure you want to do this? I mean its not like Katie is that hard to take care of when you also have your daughter." Evelyn asked, rubbing Katie's head.

"I've already made up by my mind," she bent down to Katie level. "Katie, you've made me very happy these past two years. I just want you to know that. You made Hannah happier and were so great. You didn't do anything wrong." Katie gave her one last hug and Catherine started to sob.

Evelyn held out her hand and they walked away. Katie started to cry once they were outside.

"I know this is sad," Evelyn said softly, hugging her. "But it will get better. I promise." The little girl continued to cry and Evelyn kneeled down to look at her, wiping her tears away. "What's wrong Katie?"

"It's my birthday," Katie whimpered and Evelyn pulled the little girl closer hugging her tightly.


	5. Chapter 5: Present

**A/N: This took me so long... enjoy xx Mariah**

* * *

She laid there on the floor in her own blood for what seemed like hours.

Danny was long gone, but she didn't want to move. She had no inspiration to, but she needed to warn Ned.

With that revelation, she reached for the chair next to her, moving to pull herself up. Pain seared through her ribs better than a branding iron, her mind conceded to the torment, letting herself fall to the floor and sob. She had to get up. She had to.

Without meaning to, her body curled into something fetal, something primeval, and the pain burned and radiated through her chest.

There was a sharp knock on the door, not one of her boss, but one that reminded her of a policeman.

Ned?

"Katherine?" A voice came through the door. "I believe that's your name. I'm Ned's partner. Are you busy?"

She gasped at the chance to help not only herself, but Ned too.

"You can," she paused to grasp the chair leg in pain. "Come in."

The door knob turned and he came in quietly, uneasily and shut the door.

"Oh God, are you-" He came to her in an instant, taking his coat off and wrapping it around her. "He did this to you, didn't he?"

"No-umm I don't know. I don't remember," She lied. "I can't get up."

"I'm bringing you to the hospital," he said. "I'll call Ned."

"Ned, he's in danger." She whispered, grabbing his arm. "Danny, he threatened him. He paid someone to hurt him with all my tips. I didn't want him to."

"What did he say?" He asked.

"He called Kenny in and told him to give him what he deserves for ever touching me." She whimpered.

"Kenny's the hit man," he whispered and she looked at his name on his badge, but it was too fuzzy.

"You know too much about his gang," she said softly. "He'll kill you if he finds that out."

"Did he call anyone else?" He asked softly.

"Paco," she muttered and they both knew what he did. "I don't have anyone left. I can't lose Ned too."

"I won't let anything happen to him," he promised. "Just like I won't let anything happen to you."

"You don't even know me," she whimpered.

"No one deserves to be hurt by Danny," he said picking her up. "And you're Ned's girl. I promised him I'd keep my eye on you."

"What's your name?" She asked as he grabbed her belonging that were on the chair.

"James," he said as he resituated everything before kicking the door open and walking out. "But everybody calls me Jim."

"Jim," she whispered. "Thank you."

The pain increased with waves, small lulls giving false hope of an end.

She looked at him softly and went to speak, but the next lull stopped her.

"What?" He asked as they exited the club.

"Your name, it's familiar." She gasped.

"How so?" He laid her down in the passenger seat of the cop car, buckling her in and making sure she was comfortable. She blinked, looking at him as if she was about to speak, but her eyes rolled back into her head and she slumped against the seat. "Katherine, you need to stay with me." He checked for a pulse, but didn't feel much, it was there but very faint. He hadn't noticed the injury in the back of her head. "She's lost too much blood." He raced to the other side of the car and hopped in, driving off quickly and turning the emergency lights on as he reached for the CB radio. "Officer Clancy to dispatch. Officer James Clancy to dispatch."

"I see your emergency lights are on," dispatch replied. "Reason.."

"On route to Mercy General, I have a 10-69." He muttered. "And a possible 10-69 at Officer Ned Banks' residence. Not sure exactly."

"Would you like me to dispatch someone?" Dispatch replied.

"Yes," he replied. "Quickly, before they get there."

"Where is your information coming from?" Dispatch asked.

"His girlfriend, Katherine..." He muttered, turning into the ER.

"Last name?" Dispatched asked.

"I don't know her last name, she has blacked out." He replied. "I'm at Mercy." He dashed from the car and to her side, pulling her into his arms and running into the ER. "I need help! She's hurt!"

"Officer, what case?" The doctor asked, rushing over with a gurney. "Lie her down carefully."

"10-69," he said to the doctor.

"Her name?" The doctor asked, rushing down the hallway toward trauma, pressing a stethoscope to her chest. "Ragged breathing. Blood in her chest. How much blood has she lost?"

"Katherine, she has her ID in her purse I believe but I have to be going to get someone else... umm too much. She was in a pool of it when I found her." He said as he helped her into the trauma room. "I'll be back. Make sure she knows I didn't just abandon her, if she wakes."

"I will," the doctor promised. "Are you her partner-"

"No, her boyfriend's superior." He replied.

"Alright, are you going to fetch him?" The doctor said as he inserted an IV and pulled his coat open. "Is she on anything?" The doctor asked, noticing her clothing."

"I don't know. I have to get going. I'll be back," he muttered and ran off, not caring that he was stained with her blood.

He had to save Ned too.

* * *

Ned had walked home from the club, upset that she done this to him again.

He'd noticed the pair of goons following him and few block prior and cursed silently to himself.

Danny had found out about them.

He ducked into the alleyway and climbed the fire escape, hiding against the brick wall and watching as they ran past.

Idiots.

He hopped down and ran back to the street, hands stuffed in his pockets and jump in his step.

He couldn't go home and endanger his mother's life too. He noticed the cop car outside his apartment complex and halted momentarily, looking inside.

It wasn't Jim's, but he didn't have time to stop.

He continued running, and heard one of the goons shout as they appeared around the corner ahead of him.

"You have no where to hide now boy!" One screamed as Ned turned on his heel and dashed down the street.

He had a five minute mile, faster than anyone in his class at the academy. He could outrun them, he didn't have time to stop.

Distance was all that mattered.

"We'll find you!" The other cursed as he entered a crowd of people, walking slowly to blend in.

The minute it cleared, he took off.

His feet pounded the pavement and he nearly tripped, but used it to his advantage and turned the corner.

His walkie stuttered and he grabbed it as he continued to run, pressing it to his mouth.

"Can't talk Jim, trying to run from Danny's guys." He panted.

"Where are you?" Jim asked.

"The corner of 32nd and 6th Avenue." He said as he waited for the light to turn, on his mark to run.

"I see you," Jim said. "Stay right there."

He noticed the emergency lights as Jim blew through the light, pushing the door open and letting him in.

"Go!" He yelled and he dashed off, blowing through another light. "Fuck... I never thought I'd actually get away."

"Katherine's in the hospital," Jim answered.

"Why?" He panted, grabbing to handle as he rounded a corner and parked in the hospital emergency room parking, shutting the lights off and both of them hopped out.

"Danny, or at least that's what I think. She wouldn't tell me," Jim said.

"Is that her-" he noticed the blood stained to the front of his uniform.

"Yes," Jim replied. "She's not good Ned."

"Fuck- did you tell them she could be high?" He said.

"They asked, but I don't know what... what would she have been on?" Jim asked.

"Who the hell knows anymore. He got her addicted to coke last year and made her do whatever he shoved at her... it could be a combo by now." He muttered, pacing as Jim sat in the waiting room.

"Heroin?" Jim suggested, knowing that had been the drug of choice these days.

"Never, she hates needles." He replied, sitting down next to Jim with a huff. "Always has. Some bad experience in a home."

"You know, you can do it without needles, right? What do they teach you in the academy these days?" Jim replied. "It can be laced in just about anything or snorted. Do you know he last name?"

"Birth or adopted?" He asked.

"What?" Jim asked. "Is there a difference?"

"She was put up for adoption and adopted by a family, until the mom died when she was four and then was put in the system by the father and passed around until she was adopted by her social worker, but then ran off at 16 with my reluctant help." He explained.

"Some story," Jim muttered.

"Her name is Katherine Ann Taylor," he answered. "But she was born with the last name Gordon and then give the last name Johnson which switched, but you should get that by now."

"Yeah, got it." Jim laughed. "A complicated life for a complicated girl. But did you say Gordon?"

"Yeah, why?" He replied.

Jim sighed, "I've heard that last name before."

"Oh yeah?" He asked. "Who?"

"That girl, from high school. Her last name was Gordon." Jim replied.

"The one who you're in love with?" He looked up from his hands and smiled at him.

"Yeah, even if it's been almost twenty two years since I've kissed her, I can still feel her lips on mine sometimes." Jim admitted.

"You fell hard for her, didn't you?" He laughed.

"I didn't fall Ned," Jim replied. "She brought me up for air when I was drowning. I didn't grow up in the best of homes. My dad was a workaholic who came home with a lipstick stained collar and my mom refused to see through the bouquets of flowers he'd bring her home each day. I'd seen her a thousand times in her father's store. Whether she was stacking shelves or greeting customers. She was always a part of that place, blending in, less conspicuous than the covers of the magazines and rows of candy. There was a time she she was all I'd see in there, the rest of the shelves and food were just a meaningless back-drop."

"That's beautiful," he admitted.

"You have it too, Ned. She loves you so much that she risked her life to warn me about what Danny said he'd do to you." Jim replied. "Never take that for granted because I know I did with her. I never thought I'd lose her, but I did, and it was as quick as the break of our kisses when we'd hear the shop bell ping and let us know we were no longer alone and she'd tell me the pickles are on the other side of the aisle." He grinned and looked up at him. "I could dream of our last night together a thousand times and never feel as good as I did that night with her."

"Tell me about it," he sighed. "I hate the way I've let myself treat her these last few years. I've let my judgments of Danny pass to her, and she knows it."

"You can't blame her for being caught up in him," Jim told him. "It's harder than you think to get free of him with your life. It's possible, but it's so hard that you can't blame her for being too scared to try."

"Are you Katherine Taylor's boyfriend?" A doctor came out, holding a chart as Ned stood up.

He hesitated, almost looking over his shoulder for someone else, but nodded his head slowly.

"Yes," he said softly. "That's me."


	6. Chapter 6: Past

**A/N: Katie is starting to grow up. The first scene picks up on the night of Katie's sixth birthday when Evelyn took her from Catherine and John Sanders.** **Ages six through nine**

 **Enjoy xx Mariah**

* * *

That night she stayed with Evelyn and Steve. It was against protocol, but Evelyn didn't care.

"No one should have to spend their birthday on a cot at the office," Evelyn told her boyfriend, shaking her head and looking up at him. "I'll bring her in the morning."

"Eve, she's a sweetheart." Steve grinned and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I don't mind. Why don't we take her out for a nice dinner? It is her birthday after all."

"You always know just what to do," Evelyn leaned up to kiss her sweet boyfriends lips, smiling at him. "How did I get so lucky with you?"

"I say the same thing," Steve pressed another kiss to the tip of her nose and she blushed, sliding out of his arms and sitting down next to the little girl. She was sitting on the couch watching cartoons.

"Is it time to go already?" Katie's face fell, sighing. "Could we wait until they find the monster on Scooby?"

"No, you're not going anywhere." Evelyn shook her head, rubbing. "You're gonna stay with us for tonight. We thought it could be your birthday present."

"Really?" Katie gasped. "That's the bestest gift anyone could ever give me!"

Evelyn smiled as Katie hugged her tightly, burying her face in her chest. "Steve thought it would be a good idea to go get something to eat. Are you hungry?" Evelyn asked as she smelled the girl's long hair, pressing a kiss to her head.

* * *

Katherine ended up in some of the worst horrible foster homes after The Sanders. Evelyn had tried her best to find a nice family, but there just weren't anymore. No one wanted a six-year-old.

Katie hated every second she spent inside many of that house and school would be her only escape, but she changed school districts so often that she never really made any friends. She spent most of her time alone writing. On anything. Whether it was McDonald's bags or napkins or even the wall, she always had something to write on.

The only person she could call a friend was Evelyn. Her only problem was that she only came to visit when things were getting really bad or if it was her birthday. She came to pick Katie up one night when she was eight. For the last year she'd lived in the same house, thankfully, and the home she lived in at the time wasn't that bad either, she had definitely been in worse.

The family before this had been worse.

This family really did not seem to care about her at all, but they gave her food and took her to school. She spent a lot of time just writing under the big tree in the backyard and they even put a small TV in her tiny room so she could watch Saturday morning cartoons in bed. She had two older foster brothers who she sometimes played with, but she knew the family didn't want anything to do with her.

Her main purpose was to serve as some quick, extra money. They picked her because they figured she wouldn't cause much trouble or eat very much. Both of which were right. And she was a good kid, got good grades, cleaned up for church, and even did chores when they seldom asked her to.

So it had been a surprise when they called Evelyn to pick her up.

"So what exactly did she do?" Evelyn asked trying to understand the situation.

"She really didn't do anything. She actually never does anything bad. We would love to keep having her stay," the foster mom said. "But we're moving."

"Where are you moving to?" Evelyn asked. "If it's in the state you can still take her."

"We're moving to my mother's. She lives in a two-bedroom house so obviously I don't want to bring another kid with us who isn't even mine." The foster mom muttered. "Plus it's in Florida."

"Well I'm sorry you have to move," Evelyn said softly as Katie came down the stairs with her bags and smiled when she saw Evelyn. "Katie had a great time here."

"Yeah so am I, but we can't afford this place anymore." The foster mother sighed. "And my mother's health has been declining the past few years. She just can't do it on her own anymore."

"Thanks for taking good care of her. At least you didn't just drop her off because you had a fight with the mailman." Evelyn laughed, trying to make light of the situation.

"Damn, people do that?" The foster mom muttered.

"You would be surprised with the type of people you meet in the system," Evelyn replied.

"Wow, well I'm sorry I won't be seeing any more of you." The foster smiled down at Katie, who was already holding Evelyn's hand. "You made my boys happy to have someone new to play with. Chris? Kevin? Did you say goodbye to Katie?"

"Yes," they both called from the upstairs.

"Thank you for having me," Katie said. She would give the woman a hug, but she felt no attachment to her, or the boys really.

Evelyn left with Katie in tow and they were sitting in the car silent for a while, which was odd. Normally Katie would sing along with the radio.

"Hey sweetie, you okay?" Evelyn asked, turning the dial down a little as she looked over her shoulder.

"Yeah," Katie sighed. "I didn't really like them anyway."

"Were they mean to you?" Evelyn asked, looking over at her whilst keeping her attention still fully on the road.

"No, but they just didn't really care." She replied. "You know?"

"I'm sure they were just busy," Evelyn suggested. "The mom seemed to like you."

"I don't want another family," she admitted, looking out the window. "I wish I could live with you and Steve."

"Katie, you have to live somewhere," Evelyn replied. "And with me and Steve is not an option. I'm sorry."

"What if this is another bad one?" She asked.

"You just have to believe that this one could be better. Anyways, you only have to do this for eleven more years." Evelyn answered. "That's not that long!"

"I'm not even eleven years old!" Katie started to cry, and Evelyn didn't know how to comfort her. "Why didn't my real mom and dad want me?"

"Hey, sweetie." Evelyn tried to soothe her the best she could before pulling the car over. She turned around then, after putting the vehicle in park and rubbed her back. "Let's go get some ice cream. Will that help?"

"I guess," Katie sniffled, wiping away her tears.

"Well alright then," Evelyn grinned, turning back around. "Ice cream it is."

Katie's real answer was no. Nothing would ever make her feel better, but she didn't have the heart to tell Evelyn that.

* * *

By nine years old, Katie Johnson had learned how to take care of herself. She could make herself eggs in the morning, knew how to wash her own laundry, and get to school on time.

The family she was currently living with were pretty big drinkers and often were found passed out on the floor day and night.

Katie slowly started to collect any extra money she found while they were drinking, or passed out. She also saved the three dollars they gave her every day for lunch simply by making two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches before school. By the time she had completely planned her escape she had around three hundred dollars.

With that money, she planned on buying a train ticket and getting far away from New York. Being only eight she had not figured out what she would do once she got to wherever she planned on going, or how she would survive, and she still had hope that a nice family would adopt her, but of course, she knew that would probably never happen.

Katie packed the few belongings she cared about in her backpack and decided that tonight would be the night. Her foster parents were already drunk and had left to go find some 'party favors' and gave her ten dollars for dinner and she knew this was her time to go. She went to the kitchen and grabbed some snacks that she could fit in her jacket pocket and backpack and made sure she had her hat and gloves because it was snowing before heading out the back door.

However, Katie underestimated the cold and was freezing before she was even a quarter of the way to the train station. She saw the glow of the lights coming from a big building and realized that it was a church. She remembered going there with her first family, The Taylor's and smiled at the memory.

They had had cookies and hot cocoa at that place and she figured nobody would mind if she went inside to warm up and have one, so she did. Nobody noticed as she sat down in the back with a peanut butter cookie and a cup of hot cocoa. Katie put her backpack on the seat and rested her head on it after finishing her treats and told herself that she would only stay there until she was warm enough, but ended up falling asleep.

She was awakened by the minister who was very concerned as to why she was there all alone. Katie tried to lie her way out and tell them that her mother had just gone to get the car, but the man hadn't believed her. Instead, he called the police.

"How did you know I was lying?" Katie asked.

"Well I figured most mothers would not leave a little girl by herself this late at night," the minister smiled. "But that was just a theory."

"Yeah, I probably should have come up with something better," she sighed.

"Why did you lie in the first place?" The minister asked.

"I just didn't want to go back there." She whispered. "Is that bad?"

"Not at all, dear" the minister smiled. "Want another cookie and cup of cocoa?"

"Yes, please," she grinned and he went to go fetch her some.

The minister could tell that she was upset and knew that this would cheer her up at least a little.

"How could you tell I was lying?" She said in between sips of her hot drink.

"Another way I can tell when people are lying is because of their voice. Sometimes people's voices change when they lie." The minister admitted. "They also try to avoid looking into your eyes or they move around and seem very uncomfortable."

"The family I live with lies a lot," she said, and the minster wanted to help, but the police arrived before he could do anything. "They probably don't even know I"m gone."

"Katie, we couldn't contact your foster family, but we did reach your social worker. Evelyn, right?" A nice policeman said as he kneeled down to see her. "She is going to meet us at the station. Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah. I guess so." She said as she grabbed her backpack. "Thanks for waiting with me." She told the minster as she dejectedly walked to the car and sat in the back.

Nothing was going to change.

* * *

The seats at the police station were extremely uncomfortable and Katie had been sitting in one for about an hour. Evelyn had to be stuck in the snow storm or something.

"Do you want some coffee?" The cop watching over her asked.

"I'm eight," she answered flatly. "Do you have any hot chocolate?"

"I'll go look," the cop smiled. "Stay here?"

"I'm a statue," she shrugged and tried to lay down on the seat to find a comfortable position.

The cop hadn't been able to find any and Katie was bummed, but just settled for a piece of paper and a pen. A poem would keep her satisfied.

When Evelyn finally arrived she was not happy to see Katie. She was mad that she had to drive all that way in the snow in the middle of the night. Her hair wasn't done and she was not wearing any makeup. Katie suddenly felt very worried. She did not want Evelyn to be mad at her. Evelyn was the only person she could really trust.

She waited in agony as Evelyn discussed the situation with the cop. When she was done Evelyn sat down in the seat next to her with a smile.

"So we haven't been able to contact your foster family. We don't know if they are worried that you have gone missing, but when they call the police they are going to tell them that we found you. Normally I would have driven you back, but because its so late I'm not going to bother." Evelyn sighed. "So I suggest we just all go home."

"I don't really have a home at the moment." Katie tried to joke, but suddenly she was holding back tears.

"Oh Katie," Evelyn whispered. "I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at this stupid storm," she brushed Katie's tears away and smiled. "I was thinking you could come home with me tonight. It would be stupid for me to come to pick you up here tomorrow. We could watch a movie and make some cocoa. I know how much you love that stuff."

"You're the best Eve," she whispered and hugged the young woman. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Hey, let's go get to my place. Steve is there," Evelyn said as she stood up and held out her hand.

"I like Steve," she giggled, taking the open hand and grabbing her back happily. "He's funny."

"Well, I hope so," Evelyn laughed and showed the ring. "We're married now."

"That's great!" Katie whispered but felt her heart sink.

With marriage came children, and children would mean that Katie wouldn't be as much of a priority in Evelyn's life and she didn't like to think of that.

"I bet you are hungry," Evelyn wrapped her arm around the small girl, smiling at her.

"I'm fine," she sighed, walking forward to her car.

"Well, let's get going then," Evelyn said and pulled out of her parking spot carefully. They pulled up to a McDonald's drive-through even though Katie swore she wasn't hungry. Evelyn knew that this must have been hard for her. That everything Katie had to deal with was hard. So for once her life she wanted to give her something that would make her life a little bit easier. She started with a burger and fries. "I know you aren't hungry, but take just try and eat a little."

She handed her Emma the burger. They were still in the car, but she wanted her to eat now, so she could feel better.

It was another few minutes of silence as Katie ate her burger and fries.

"You know, Katie, you can talk to me about anything," Evelyn said, looking at her through the rearview mirror.

"No, I can't. You're mad at me." She sighed, crumping up the wrapper.

"Katie, no. I'm not. I was just a little frustrated because of the snow and I don't want anything bad to happen to you."

"Well, bad things have always happened to me." The little girl whispered, munching on a fry. "You can't change that, Eve."

"Was it the family you are living with? Did they hurt you?" Evelyn pulled over immediately, turning on her hazard lights.

"No, but they sometimes forgot to feed me. All they really cared about was their drinking." Katie shook her head. "That's why they didn't even notice I was gone. I honestly don't think they will until you drop me off tomorrow."

"There is no way I'm taking you back there then, Katie. Why didn't you tell me sooner? I would've come and got you immediately!" Evelyn shook her head, feeling her heartbreak for this little girl. She never got a break, did she?

Katie started to eat her fries again so she wouldn't have to answer. She tried to make it stop her from crying. The last thing she wanted was a new home. Even if her home was awful she knew that it could get worse. She could handle the family she was in now.

"You don't really have to. I lied, I like it there." She shook her head, sighing.

"No, Katie, if they neglect you like that they are not fit to be parents," Evelyn said, turning back on the road.

"Thanks for the burger and fries," she said as she took her final bite of fries. "I guess I was more hungry then I expected."

Evelyn noticed how skinny she was getting. The woman didn't know if it was genetics or because of her diet. Either way, Evelyn felt bad that she was not a bigger help. "Here, time for a milkshake." Evelyn handed her the small strawberry one, knowing it was her favorite.

"Thanks, Eve. I love strawberry," she smiled.

They were at Evelyn's new home pretty quickly after that because the roads had just been plowed which made things a lot easier.

"Hey baby, I'm back," Evelyn said as she shed her coat and helped Katie out of hers.

"Hey, Katie!" Steve said as she ran past him to lie on the couch and watch some tv. "Were the roads alright?"

"They were terrible on the way there, but better on the way back," Evelyn said before kissing Steve. "Katie's gonna stay with us until I find a new home for her. This one isn't working out, right kiddo?"

"Yup," Katie nodded.

"That's fine by me, I love the kid. She's super fun to hang out with," Steve laughed as he ticked the little girl's sides. "Plus its practice..." He leaned in to press another kiss to her lips. "And you know how much I love practicing with you."

"Practicing for what?" Katie giggled.

"For when we have our own kids," Evelyn said as she sat down next to her. "What movie do you wanna watch?"

"Mary Poppins!" Katie tried not to think about when they'd have kids. She didn't want to. What if Evelyn made someone else become her social worker then? "Do you have it?"

"Of course," Steve said. "Eve, you get the movie and I'll get the snacks."

"What can I do?" Katie asked.

"Why don't you come help me?" Steve asked and the little girl tagged along with him giggling about hot cocoa with marshmallows.

"Okay!" Katie giggled and followed him to the kitchen.

* * *

After the snowstorm let up, five days later, Evelyn realized what she had to do. She had to follow protocol.

When arriving at Katie's "current" foster home and realizing the family had no idea she had even left all that time, she knew for sure that they were unfit parents, not that she didn't believe Kaite, but it was protocol to check in first before taking any actions to remove a child from a home. She raced to the social services office and into her supervisor's office.

"Evelyn, did you finally get over to the Jones' and see how things were going without their foster daughter, Katie?" Kenneth asked, looking up from his paperwork as she walked in. "That is her name, isn't it?"

"Yes," Evelyn muttered, sighing. "I was actually just there. She'll need a new home, they didn't even realize she was gone for the last five days."

"She is a quiet child, that seems pretty reasonable of them now doesn't it? I'm tired of moving her around every month or so," Kenneth muttered. "She's been with these people over a year, shouldn't they be given a little slack?"

"No. Five days is absolutely unacceptable to not know the child in your care is missing," Evelyn shook her head, her rage threating to come out. "She deserves a steady place to live, and I have one."

"Is that so? Where?" Kenneth chuckled. "Did you find her perfect family yet?"

"It's not perfect, but my husband and I want to adopt her," she said. "She needs somewhere to flourish and we can give that to her. We are strangers to her and we love her."

"And why would I let you do that?" Kenneth stood up. "How long is this going to last before you two have your own child and don't want to have some kid that isn't really yours around"

"She'd be loved and isn't that what this is about? Isn't this job about finding these kids the right home?" She explained. "The day I met her I knew how special she was. It was the way her little eyes looked right through me and knew how nervous I was because it was my first day on the job and not just sitting in an office all day."

"I can't just give her to you, you should know that." Kenneth sighed. "You'd have to go through all the paperwork and there would be a lot of background checks. It will be at least a year until it's finalized. Are willing to do that?"

"Yes, my husband and I are willing to do it," Evelyn answered. "We both are willing to be there for her every day, to soothe her cries and fevers and raise her. Katie's special and she deserves a special life."

"I won't stand in your way if this is what you want to do," Kenneth muttered. "Just know it may be harder than you think it will be."

"Whatever it costs, it will be worth it." Evelyn grinned and stood up. "You won't regret it."

"I hope not," Kenneth sighed as he reached into his file cabinet. "Fill this out with your husband and I'll get the process started on adoption. I can try and fast track it as much as I can, but I don't know how much good that will do. This is what you want, correct?"

Evelyn blushed and thought of what the future could hold.

Happiness. Laughter. Sleepovers and painting nails on the weekends. One day helping her get ready for her wedding. That was everything Evelyn wanted for Katie. A real, happy, and long life.

"Yes, this is exactly what both I want and my husband want." Evelyn took the stuffed file and nodded toward him. "Thank you. I'll have this back to you as soon as I can."

"Just remember you have more than one child under your care." Kenneth reminded her. "There is a new case on your desk that I need you to take a look at."

"I'll take it home with me," she added as she opened his office door and Kenneth's wife was there, holding their daughter's hand. "Oh hello Marion, I'm just leaving. Hi Josie, I love your dress."

"Thank you," the little girl giggled and ran to her father, sitting on his lap.

That's what she wanted Katie to be able to have. A real family.


	7. Chapter 7: Present

**A/N: Time for the real action... enjoy! xx Mariah**

* * *

Jim walked closely behind Ned as the doctor escorted him down the hall of the ICU.

The doctor was older, had a mustache and a slight accent. "Ned, there's no easy way to say this, but we did find some cocaine in your girlfriend's system." The doctor explained. "She will be put on a mandatory 72-hour hold to flush her system of all drugs and will be in a lot of pain. She lost a lot of blood and we do have her on some minor pain medication just to keep her from crashing. Is there any family we should call?"

"Yes, she has a family. Her adoptive parents Evelyn and Steve Taylor, but I should call them, it would be a lot easier coming from me than a stranger." He replied, running a hand through his hair. "She's gonna hate me for calling them. They live all the way in Maine."

"She was hurt pretty badly. She suffered five broken ribs on her left side, which punctured her lung and caused her to internally bleed but also broke three on the right side. One punctured the skin and caused her to bleed externally as well. Also, she has a broken jaw and a few other minor cuts and bruises." The doctor explained as they walked toward a room. "We did have to wire her jaw shut in order to set it and she won't be able to talk for a week which I think could help with her treatment for her drug abuse. That's if she wants help."

"Thank you, doctor," he said. "Can I see her?"

"Of course," the doctor replied. "I'd just like to warn you that she most likely does not look much like herself and is hooked up on a breathing tube and is restrained for her own protection. She was attempting to harm herself when she first woke up, but if she's calm enough when she is awake again I think they could definitely be taken off."

Ned understood and looked at the doctor one last time. "Anything else?" He asked.

"No, you can go in." The doctor said. "I'll be around if you or Katie needs me, just press the red button. The green button is for a nurse."

He hesitated, leaning against the wall. He was worried about what she would look like, how frail and vulnerable she would look.

"Going in now will be better than later," Jim told him, opening the door slightly. "It's been to just rip the band-aid off, Ned."

He nodded and slowly walked toward the door. They could hear the soft hum of the ventilator and Ned stepped inside first.

This was his fault. He should've never let her get with Daniel the first place. He should've said something back when he was her boyfriend. He should've never let her out of his sight.

He should be the one in the hospital bed, not her. He felt like crying, but nothing came out. It was just a sort of sad sickness when you can't feel any worse. You have to know it, and everyone learned what it felt like at one time or another, but he knew it pretty often, too often.

Jim closed the door and he made his way to her side, pulling up a chair, but not bothering to sit down.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, pressing a tearful kiss to her forehead. "This is all my fault."

"You should call her parents," Jim admitted.

"Alright," he took the telephone from Jim's hand and stood up.

"It's not your fault, son." Jim reminded him.

He shook his head. "She would've never run away if weren't for me," he whispered. Ned dialed the number that he hadn't called in what seemed like forever and pressed the large hunk of junk to his ear. These things would never become a real thing, he thought. They were just too much money and too heavy. "Hello Mrs. Taylor, yes, this is Ned." He said softly. "I know it's late. I'm sorry, but this is urgent. It's Katie, she's uh..." He trailed off as he looked back at her. "She's badly hurt. I know I promised I'd keep her safe and I'm so sorry that I failed. She's at Mercy, room 409." He listened and nodded his head. "Yes, see you soon."

Jim had sat beside the girl and brushed a piece of hair from her face. "You're gonna be okay, kiddo," Jim said, grabbing hold of her hand and squeezing it. "You seem like a fighter."

"She is," he said and handed him the telephone. "She's gonna hate me for calling them."

"You don't know that," Jim replied, shaking his head. "She may change her mind. Trauma can do that to a person."

Her eyes opened and she grabbed at Ned's hand, struggling to breathe because of the tubes in her nose and her jaw being sewn closed. She tried to say something, but he pressed the nurse button as her BP dropped and she clawed at his hand.

"Baby, just stay calm," he said softly, kissing her hand as a nurse ran in a quickly and disconnected the tube so she could breathe on her own. "They'll get it out. You're gonna be okay."

"There there…" The nurse said as she pulled the tubes from her nose. "You should be able to breathe now... just slow breaths through your nose. Try not to move your mouth too much, okay?" Katie slowly nodded and relaxed a little, looking over at Ned and Jim. The nurse took off the restraints and smiled at her. "Alright, I want you to try and get some sleep, honey. Your body needs the time to heal."

He squeezed her hand she looked at him as she drew in a slow breath. "I think this is the first time I've ever seen you speechless," he joked as she raised her left hand slowly and flicked him off. "That's my girl." She tried to move but whimpered and laid back again. "Do you need anything?" He asked.

She pointed to her bag and he grabbed it for her and she grabbed the letter out from the inside. He could see that the envelope had been opened.

"You read it?" He asked.

She nodded and passed it to him.

"What's that?" Jim asked.

"It's the letter from her biological mother," he admitted and sat down beside her. "Can I read it?"

"I don't think she would've given it to you if she didn't want you to, Ned," Jim replied and she nodded toward him with a small smile, rolling her eyes.

"Shut up, don't you two gang up on me like that." He laughed and pulled out the paper from its envelope. "Did it change your mind like I said it would?" He watched the way she looked away from him and then back up at him again.

"I want to find her," she whispered softly.

"We will, baby. I promise you that. I told you I was right." He read over the delicate words and he looked up at her and then at Jim. "I think you should read this too man."

"Me?" Jim asked. "Why me?"

"Just read it, Jim. I think will answer some questions you've had all this time too," he replied and looked at Katie, who looked a little confused. "He needs to read it, trust me."

She did trust him. She smiled at him before looking at Jim, as he unfolded the letter again.

Some of the words had been blurred from the time the letter spent curled up in a tight space, but Jim could still make them all out with the context.

Katie's mother, whoever she was had neat and beautiful handwriting, one that reminded Jim of her. Of his Melinda.

* * *

 _My beautiful girl, Katherine Ann,_

 _If you're reading this I know how upset you must be. There's no real way to apologize for giving you away, I know that. I never wanted to. My father, he forced me and I didn't have much of a choice._

 _On the other hand, your father, he doesn't even know about you. My father forced me to hide away so he wouldn't have to deal with the embarrassment of a child out of wedlock, but I didn't see you that way. You were a gift of light in my darkness and I should've just run because deep down I know your father would've still loved me and he would've loved you, so please don't blame him. His name is Jim Clancy and he's caring and kind and the only person who's ever loved me. He'd love to know about you and maybe one day I'll tell him, but I don't know if I'll ever see him again._

 _I'll be close by, I've never had plans to leave the town I'm in, but you never know. My name is Melinda Irene Gordon and I love you. Please find me because I will never stop searching for you once I can._

 _Love your mother_


	8. Chapter 8: Past

**A/N: Picking up right after Evelyn's meeting with her boss about wanting to adopt Katie. Enjoy! xx Mariah**

* * *

By the time Evelyn had gotten back to her apartment she could tell something was wrong. It was too quiet. Katie and Steve usually made a lot of noise no matter what they did together.

"Anybody home?" She called out, not knowing if Steve had decided to go on an impromptu snow adventure or something. He was definitely capable of doing something like that to occupy Katie for an hour or two while she was at the office taking care of things. "Steve? Baby?"

"Hey," Steve came from the kitchen with a washcloth in hand and a glass of water. "How'd talking with Kenneth go?"

"He gave me the paperwork," she nodded, smiling. "We'll get that started in a bit."

"That's great," he whispered and kissed her head. "Katie's up, but hasn't gotten out of bed, so I put a movie on for her. I think all that time walking in the storm finally hit her. She's got a fever."

"I knew I heard a strain in her voice yesterday," she sighed, setting her things down on the kitchen table. "I'll make her a broth... or something. Let's go talk to her."

Steve nodded and they went to the room closest to them in their tiny two bedroom apartment and knocked, entering cautiously.

"Evelyn," Katie coughed, trying to sit up in bed. "You're back."

"I am," she smiled and ushered her to lay back down with a small shake of her head. "I heard you caught something from all that walking. How are you feeling?"

"Yeah," Katie rasped. "I'm so cold. My belly really hurts."

"Well I'll make you a special soup that my mom used to make me when I was sick and that should help warm you up." She smiled at her, tucking her back in. "I see Steve set the VHS player up in here for you. Are you comfy?"

"Yes, he even went to the store to rent me a few movies and get some medicine." Katie turned onto her side, lying closer to Evelyn the more her head and stomach started to hurt. "Did you go to try and find me a family?"

"Sort of," she looked up at Steve, who passed her the washcloth. "Should we tell her or wait?"

Steve shrugged, moving to sit on the other side of Katie then. Evelyn pressed her hand to her forehead first and felt the warmth. It was a slight fever, nothing too bad, but she still put the cloth down.

"Eve and I actually have something we'd like to ask you about," Steve said.

"What?" Katie coughed and she helped her sit up and take a drink of water.

"What would you think if you were to live with us?" She asked.

"You and Steve?" Katie asked.

"Yeah," he replied.

"For how long?" Katie whispered. "Until you can find me another family?"

"Sweetheart, we want to adopt you. That would mean no more moving around or being hurt by random strangers." He explained, leaning down to kiss her warm forehead and tuck her in too. "We'd like you to be our daughter, to live with us and grow and be loved."

"Would you like that?" She asked, rubbing her hand over hers.

"That would be the best," Katie grinned, sitting up despite her cold. "We'd be a real family?"

"Yes, you'd have to switch schools and I know it's pretty plain in this room, but Christmas is coming and we'd definitely get you settled nicely and I bet Santa would too." She explained, trying to get her to lay back down.

"This room is great! It has a window and a bed and a desk. Even a tv," Katie giggled with excitement. She couldn't imagine actually having a real family and even having friends at the school around here. "A gift from you and Santa? For me?" Katie perked up, but started to cough and laid back down.

"Of course!" She tucked the little girl back in. "We could paint this room whatever color you'd like."

"Santa hasn't brought me anything since I was five. The other families always just told me I wasn't good enough," Katie whispered.

"You're more than good enough," he kissed the little girls head. "We would never abandon you. You'd always have a home, even when you're all grown up."

"I would?" Katie smiled.

"That's what mommy's and daddy's do," she admitted. "So you'd be okay with this?"

"Of course!" Katie giggled, but then she was back down to business. "But don't you want your own kids?"

"Well, of course, we do, but we want you too." She kissed her forehead. "Now get some rest. It always helps me when I'm sick."

"Okay," Katie snuggled into the pillow and Steve hugged Evelyn before they started to make their way out. "Wait."

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing, I just wanted to say something," Katie whispered.

"What's that?" She asked.

"I love you," Katie smiled. "Thank you."

Steve and Evelyn smiled.

"We love you too," they said before closing the door behind them.

"This is going to be the best Christmas yet," he admitted. "I have so many ideas already. We'll get a big tree and decorate it and put lights up together and build snowmen.

"This would be such a turn-on if I didn't have to fill that paperwork out. I wish we could just keep her without having to fill that stuff out." She laughed.

"Come on, I'll help you." He pulled her to the kitchen table and grabbed a pen. "I just can't wait for her to really be ours."

"Me either," she grinned. "I'm just glad you're so happy about this too!"

"I've always wanted a family, you know that." He gushed.

"Yes, I do." She kissed him and then opened the folder. "Okay. This is gonna be a long night."

* * *

The adoption was finalized by the end of that year, just a few months after Katie had turned ten. Nothing stood in their way now and the judge was more than happy to see a little girl's dream come true.

The document was signed and Katie hugged Steve and Evelyn.

"I'm really yours now!" Katie cheered. "I'm Katie Taylor!"

"You are..." Evelyn grinned and hugged the little girl.

"You kind of always were kid," Steve pinched her cheek. "I think we should go get some stuff for your room and make it more official."

"Okay!" Katie did a twirl and then jumped in Steve's arms. "We're a real family now."

"That we are kiddo," Steve whispered, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

* * *

Two years had passed and it had been the best two years of Katie's life.

She'd excelled in school and even joined a sport. Gymnastics turned out to be the best thing to help Katie make friends, joining a new school helped too. No one saw her as the freak who didn't have real parents because none of them had to know about her little secret.

One day after a great practice, Katie took the bus home. She always sat with Ned, her best friend. She'd met him because he lived across the hall from her, Evelyn and Steve in their apartment complex.

They sat and talked about school, about the prank Ned had pulled on the lunch monitor, and about how Katie landed a back handspring at practice today.

"That's awesome," Ned chuckled, walking off the bus with her. "I told you could do it."

"Why aren't you in a sport?" She asked him. Most boys were in a sport at twelve, but Ned just played video games, played a lot of pranks on people and skateboarded in the park. "Skateboarding isn't a sport, you know."

"My mom doesn't have the money. I used to be in wrestling," he sighed, holding the door open for her.

"That sucks," she walked into the building, going straight to the elevator and pressing the up button. "Maybe next year. All you can do is ask."

"Maybe I'll ask," he shrugged and the doors opened. "C'mon, the doors opened." He pulled Katie into the elevator giggling.

It was only another few minutes before the two twelve-year-olds arrived on the seventh floor before they parted ways.

"See you tomorrow morning?" Ned asked, smiling at her.

"Yup," she pulled her key out of her backpack. "If you need help with your math just come over, okay?"

Ned nodded, blushing at Katie as she slipped away. He was so in love with her and she didn't notice it one bit.

She walked into the apartment, closing the door behind her. "Mom? Dad?" Katie called as she kicked her shoes off by the door.

"Hey, kiddo!" Steve grinned, peeking out of the kitchen. "How was practice? Did that new bus card work well for you?"

"Practice was killer," Katie high-fived him and he tossed her a water bottle. "I did a back-handspring! And it did, Ned rides with me every day."

"That's awesome. I'm glad that you found a friend in the building," he grabbed her practice bag and pressed a kiss to her sweaty head. "Go shower and put something nice on. We're going out for dinner."

"Sweet? Can we try that new burger place off of 3rd street?" She asked, walking toward her room.

"That's a good idea!" He admitted and went toward the bathroom where they kept the dirty laundry. "I'll tell your mom and see what she says."

She nodded and closed her door behind her.

She'd made sure that she was smelling nice and her hair dried before she dressed in a nice sweater and skirt.

Her birthday had just come and passed a few months ago, Evelyn had gotten her the sweetest bracelet that had those ruby red slippers on it from the Wizard of Oz, one of her favorite movies and the ruby happened to be her birthstone as well.

Ned had saved his allowance and gotten her a new journal because of how fast she always fills hers up. It was the sweetest thing ever.

She came out into the living room to see her parents waiting and cuddled on the couch together.

"Oh Katie, it's just you." Evelyn gasped. "I was scared for a moment there."

"I'm ready," she smiled.

"Good," Steve smiled. "Let's get going."

Katie slipped on a nice pair of shoes and hugged her mother, getting a kiss to the forehead.

"How was school baby?" Evelyn asked.

"Good! I got an A on my spelling test," she said happily.

* * *

They sat at a table at the new diner on 3rd street as Katie had suggested, waiting for their shakes for dessert.

"So why are we eating out? What's the occasion?" Katie laughed. "We don't go out for food very much."

"We should just tell her," Steve admitted.

"Tell me what?" She smiled.

"Okay, Katie. We have some pretty exciting news." Evelyn grinned.

"What is it?" She asked.

"Well, there are two things. The first thing is we're moving." Evelyn said.

"Oh? Where?" She didn't like the thought of moving. She liked the apartment. She liked her room. She liked living really close to Ned. He was her best friend.

The waiter slid a shake in front of Katie and one between Steve and Evelyn for them to share.

"Not too far, you won't have to move schools or anything, but we will be moving across town into a bigger house," Steve explained. "So don't worry about not being able to see your friends. They can come over whenever."

"Cool! Can I paint my room?" She asked.

"Of course!" Steve grinned. "We can do something cool like a design if you want."

"Awesome!" She giggled and then looked at them. "What else?"

"Katie, I know this is going to be a little hard for you at first, but I'm pregnant." Evelyn grinned.

Katie looked up from her ice cream at her parents. "You are?" Her voice was quiet, shaky, nervous. "That's awesome. I'm so happy for you." She managed to say. She knew they had told her they wouldn't ever abandon her, but she still worried. "Will you still keep me?"

"Oh, baby." Evelyn was up in an instant, pulling out the chair beside her and hugging her daughter tightly. "Of course. We would never send you away because of this. We want you, and we want you to be a big sister. Is that what you want?"

"Kind of, I mean I never thought I'd have a family again." She whispered, taking a sip of her shake.

Evelyn looked at Steve, who came over then, joining the hug and kissing their daughter's forehead because he loved her just as much as Evelyn did.

"You can help paint the baby's roo,." Steve added.

"That sounds like fun," she laughed. "We could do clouds. Babies like clouds, right?"

"I bet the baby would love clouds," Steven nodded, nudging a grin onto her face. Steve could always do that. He could always get her to smile if she was down and that made Evelyn happy. So happy.

"You've always wanted your own baby." She added, smiling at them.

"We already have you," Steve smiled, his own tears escaping for a moment. "But this is nice too. Now we'll have two perfect kids."

"Really?" She asked.

"Of course," Evelyn smiled.


	9. Chapter 9: Present

**A/N: Thank you for the new reader who reviewed the last chapter! It really made me smile and I hope to hear from you again on this chapter :) Who's ready for some drama? Enjoy everyone xx Mariah**

* * *

When Katie found out that Ned had called Evelyn and Steve, she threw a book at him. She couldn't believe he'd done this after everything. He knew she did not want them to see her like this. When she was so pale, thin, and weak. She wasn't ready yet. She had to get herself together first.

"Come on," Ned begged, sitting on the edge of her bed. He leaned in to kiss her cheek, begging for her to look at him. "Just look at me. It's been three days, Katie."

She glanced at him momentarily and then turned her head. She wanted to yell at him so much but remembered what the psychiatrist had said. She was supposed to control her feelings and use them correctly.

Jim had taken to walking to the cafeteria to get himself to eat. He still was a bit distraught about finding out that he was a father. That he and Melinda had created someone and that someone happened to be the girl who was trapped tightly in Daniel Larson's gang. It was his worst nightmare coming true, but all he knew was that he had to save her from all of this. He had tried his best to be there for her every day this week in between his shifts at work. Ned had been given a week's leave and was sleeping in the lounge chair in Katie's hospital room.

There were a few knocks and Ned went to open the hospital room door, fixing the collar on his shirt and trying to smooth out his hair first.

"This might be them," he warned her. "Are you ready?"

She shrugged and then nodded. Ned went to open the door and Evelyn pushed her way through as soon as the door was cracked.

"Oh Katherine, you're awake! I'm so sorry we couldn't come any sooner." Evelyn sat next to her and hugged her tightly, her hand touching Katherine's face softly. "What did he do to you? Was this that drug dealer?"

"She can't talk," Ned answered. "Her jaw is wired shut while it heals. Her attacker broke it. She should be able to get them out in a few days."

Steve came in behind her quietly, going to close the door just as Jim slipped in as well. Katie saw as Ned slipped out into the hall with him and she looked back down at her hands.

"You need to leave that man in your past," Evelyn said as she went to hug her again. "I didn't know if you were still alive... you hadn't called in so long. Katie, I'm so sorry."

She pulled back and laid down against the pillow, looking at Steve and then wondering where her supposed little brother was. Liam had to be eight by now. Why wouldn't they have brought him with?

"Hey you," Steve smiled as Evelyn pulled back enough to let Steve come in, going to hug their son and say something to him. "I missed you kiddo." Steve cupped her cheek and she leaned into it, smiling at him. "You look so grown up. Last time I saw you, you were what, sixteen?"

She glanced at Steve and sat up, wincing at the pain in her ribs and then nearly crying from moving her jaw. Steve hugged her then and she felt better. He'd always been the good guy in this. Evelyn was the one who never tried to fix anything when she doted on Liam constantly.

"I'm so sorry all this happened to you," Steve whispered.

She nodded and then looked away as she laid back into bed as comfortably as she could. Ned came back into the room slowly, coming over to the clear side of the bed.

"Hey, Jim had to go back to the station. Sarge needed him for something. He's gonna try and get tomorrow off." Ned explained, pulling a chair over as he sat down. "Should we tell them about him reaching out to your mother?"

Katie hadn't even had a chance to think about it before Evelyn had an opinion, chuckling from where she was across the room.

"I'm Katie's mother more than the woman who gave you up ever was," Evelyn muttered softly to herself as Steve came over and hugged her. "I'm sorry. I just can't process everything right now."

"Don't start this fight again," Steve whispered, rubbing her side. "That's how we lost her in the first place..." He turned back to Ned. "What have you learned?"

"Well Katie opened the letter," Ned explained, pulling it out of his back pocket. "And we learned that my partner at work is her biological father. He's reached out to Katie's mother. She hasn't called back yet."

"What changed your mind about her?" Evelyn asked.

"I have nothing to say to you. I'm not speaking for Katie for you," he looked up away. "I just don't understand why everything you told Katie about her mother was a lie."

"Anyone can lie in a letter. How do you know what she wrote is the truth?" Evelyn turned away, wiping her tears away. She grabbed her discarded purse off the nearby lounge chair and then turned back to Katie. "Maybe now isn't a great time for me to be here. I should go back to the hotel and check on Liam. He shouldn't be alone for long. He's only nine." She gave Katie a light hug and kiss on the cheek. "I just wanna know why you'd call us here if you didn't want to see me?"

"She didn't. I did," Ned said softly. "She was mad at me for calling you. She didn't want you to see her like this."

"We gave you a home when no one else wanted you," Evelyn cried, holding her hand. "And trust me when I say no one wanted you. They all thought you had problems and it turns out that they were right... look at you! You need to wake up and see that you are in the hospital because of some drug dealer you fell for! The next time I see you, you'll probably be some Jane Doe in a morgue."

"All she wanted was to find where she was from!" Steve yelled. "I've had enough of you scolding her like this Eve. She was just a sixteen-year-old searching for where she came from and you just let her walk out that front door! You didn't even fight her, you let pack a bag and leave."

"What was I to do?" Evelyn sighed, looking at her husband. "Was I to lock her in her room? Or was I to let her go find her mother and have her dreams of being a perfect family crushed?"

"You didn't even give her the right name according to Ned and our daughter!" Steve cried. "How could you do that?"

"When we realized she was gone after I gave her that name... I thought I was hoping she'd come right back," Evelyn sighed.

"Evelyn," Steve said. "How could you send her a wild goose chase? Did you ever even look into finding her like you said you would?"

"Yeah, of course, I did." Evelyn sighed. "I found her. It wasn't very hard. When she found out that someone looked into the case, she came to the office and everything. I hid any photos of her and told her I didn't know anything about her daughter that she willingly gave up sixteen years prior."

"I can't even look at you right now," Steve went to their daughter, whispering in her ear. "I"m sorry. I want to be here, but I can't be here right now. I'll be back in a little bit."

She nodded, understanding that he'd never known that Evelyn had done that. Katie hadn't even known to the full extent. She winced and laid back, feeling as though her entire stomach was being ripped out.

"I'm gonna go too," Evelyn sighed. "This is just all too much. I love you, but this is just too much."

As Steve walked toward the door, it opened to reveal and nurse. "Well hello, you have a full room today. That's nice to see," the nurse said happily. "Let's take a look at your jaw. The doctor said you might be clear to get your wires out." Katie winced as the nurse felt around her jaw lightly with her fingers. "Ooh, I think today might be the lucky day. It feels healed enough, but I'll have the doctor come check. Just in time. I brought your prenatal vitamins. Congrats."

Evelyn and Steve both turned around then and Ned just sighed. This was not what they needed right now.

"I'm here for you, no matter what. You know that?" Evelyn touched her daughter's hand and then smiled.

"We both are," Steve added.

"I'm sorry about what I did," Evelyn whispered as she walked over and hugged her. "Please know that... I did what I thought was right. You don't know who your mother could be. Then one day she came into the office so desperate to reconnect with you... I just panicked. I was afraid you'd want to go with her. That she'd take you back if she saw how amazing you were."

Katie sighed and then just shook her head. SHe couldn't deal with this right now either.

"Come back later," Ned said. "Both of you. She'll be able to talk then."

"We will," Steve said, pulling Evelyn back. "After dinner. Maybe we'll bring Liam?"

"I don't know if he should see her like this," Evelyn whispered. "When she looks better maybe, but not now."

"That's probably a good idea," Ned reassured Steve, opening the door. "We'll see you later." Once they left and the door was closed, Ned sighed against the door. "That was... a lot. I'm sorry if I eve doubted you on how crazy Evelyn can be." He went and sat by her bedside, only to see her roll her eyes at him. "Oh stop it. I'll quit talking and just lay with you. It's been a day."

She shrugged and smiled at him a little as he carefully laid beside her, pressing a kiss to her neck.

* * *

The doctor stepped back from her, the last wire in between the scissors he'd cut them out with.

"Now just because you're wires out does not mean your jaw is completely healed," the doctor reminded her. "Be very careful with how far you open your mouth. "

Katie nodded, lying back into bed with Ned's and the nurse's support. Steve knocked on the door just as the clock turned seven and Evelyn came in quietly behind him. "You'll be able to go home tomorrow if you're in these spirits." Her doctor grinned. "I cannot morally let you out on your own, you will have to be under care to make sure you don't relapse on those drugs you have a knack for getting into. How are your cravings?"

"They are there," she gulped, suddenly feeling hot. Her jaw hurt even as she moved it slightly, but she soldiered on. "I'm controlling them for now and should be able to contain them."

"For now," her doctor reminded her. "And I'm guessing you're her parents?"

"Yes, they are my parents," she whispered.

"Oh great. Will you be taking her home?" Her doctor asked.

Steve and Evelyn looked at her and she shrugged, not exactly wanting to go home with them because she is an adult and can take care of herself. She looked at Ned and knew she couldn't exactly go stay with him and his mom either.

"We haven't decided that yet," Evelyn answered. "We'll have to talk about that."

"As long as she won't be on her own, I'd let her leave with anyone she is comfortable with, but the person who did this to her." Her doctor said. "Speaking of the assault, there is an officer who wants to speak to you, Katherine. I'm going to send him in."

She nodded and then looked at her parents who just squeezed her hand and smiled at her.

Jim entered and he smiled at her, sitting near her feet. "Hey kiddo," he said softly, holding out a jello cup. "I got this from one of the nurses."

"Thanks," she smiled. "You're the cop on my case?"

"I found you," Jim nodded. He was happy to see she looked better. There was a little more color in her face since he'd seen her this morning. "I'm doing the paperwork, so yeah. I do the interview. Are you okay with that?"

She nodded slowly.

"You said when I brought you in that someone did this to you. Is that correct?" Jim asked.

"Yes," she answered. "I remember who did this to me."

"Who?" The officer asked.

"Will you protect the ones I love?" She asked. "If you can't tell me they will be safe than I can't tell you.

He'll hurt them. You know that."

"We will do our best keep them safe," Jim said, reaching out to hold her hand. "I will make sure of that."

"My... I don't know what he was.. he was an off and on boyfriend of mine. He would supply me with anything I wanted as long as I stripped at his brother's club, Cray Z's." She explained. "His name is Danny Larson. I know everything about him sadly." she sighed. "But I liked the thrill for a while."

"If you could help us with our case against him, we can make sure goes away," Jim said.

"I'll do anything to make sure he doesn't do this to another person," she replied. "As long as the ones I love are safe."

"Katie," Evelyn muttered. "You can't go back there."

"I'll probably have to. I can't have some other young girl get sucked into this and die," she explained softly. "Mom, you don't know what he did to me those first few weeks... what he did to me in the weeks after and how he trained me to be able to do things for him."

"She'd be completely cleared of anything she possibly could have done with him that was illegal, ma'am," Jim explained. "It's a good deal. I don't know if we've met before, but I'm Ned's partner. Jim." He held his hand out to Steve and Evelyn as he stood and walked around the bed to greet them. "I'm Katherine's..."

"Biological father, yes, we know. We just didn't realize it was you," Evelyn sighed, looking at him. "It's... it's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too," Jim shook her hand and then Steve's. "I can promise you all that Ned and I will do everything to collar Daniel. He has to be stopped."

"That's something we all agree on and I'm grateful for that," Katie laughed, coughing and then shaking her head when it hurt too much for her to talk anymore.

They all understood, each finding a seat to enjoy the company of being together and safe. And that was everything Katie needed at that moment, even if she didn't realize it yet.


	10. Chapter 10: Past

**A/N: This took forever... mostly because I didn't have much inspiration for this, but enough of me talking... enjoy! xx Mariah :)**

* * *

Preparations for the new baby were in full swing.

Steve and Katie had painted the nursery last week and the next week they were putting the crib together today. Evelyn was taking it easy, watching them from the rocking chair as they put together the crib. Her pregnancy was turning out to be harder than anticipated.

"How long until the baby comes?" Katie asked, going to Evelyn's side and kissing her belly. "I feel like it's been forever."

"Only a few more weeks," Evelyn promised. "And then I'll be back to my old self."

"Okay," Katie grinned, hugging her. "I have some homework I need to get done before tomorrow. Is it okay if I go do that?"

"Of course. Need any help?" Steve asked as he helped Evelyn up and kissed her.

"Nope," Katie ran off and left them together.

Nothing out of the ordinary for the little family. Steve helped Evelyn to the couch and got her a glass of iced tea. He could already tell this summer was going to be a hot one, it was only April and already in the sixties.

Katie stared at her family history assignment paper in her hands the next day. It was worth forty percent of her grade, but how could she do this? She didn't know her real families history. She didn't know where her mother or father came from. She didn't even know who they were!

On the bus ride to school, Katie decided that she could probably just make up information about her parents for herself before she got to school because there was no way she would ask Evelyn or Steve to help her. The last time she asked Evelyn about her mother, it didn't turn out good.

Evelyn got upset and so did Steve because he didn't want Evelyn being upset to upset the baby, and she was sent to her room for the night.

Katie usually was pretty good at school, but she couldn't figure out what to write. She didn't exactly know how a normal family would function because she hadn't had a normal life since ever. So she gave up and decided to worry about it later.

"Hey Katie!" Ned waved at her as she walked off the bus. "I haven't seen you in like forever. Sorry for not calling."

"It's okay," Katie shrugged. "I've been busy unpacking and was out of school last week."

"Yeah. I've missed you," Ned smiled. "Wanna sit with me at lunch?"

"Sure. That would be awesome," Katie smiled at him as they walked up the school's front steps.

* * *

The bell rang signaling that the day was over.

Katie grabbed her things and was about to head out the door when her teacher had asked her to stay.

"Katie, you haven't turned in your family history assignment yet." Ms. Tammer smiled, sitting on the edge of her desk. "Do you have it?"

"Ms. Tammer," she whispered.

"When are you planning on turning it in?" Ms. Tammer asked. "I can give you an extra day or two if you need it."

"I didn't do it," she said slowly, closing her eyes. She began to get very nervous.

She did not want her teacher to call home and tell Steve and Evelyn.

They'd be so mad.

"You know it's a big part of your grade. Why didn't you do it?" Katie didn't answer. She didn't want to tell her that she was adopted, that she didn't know her family's history because she didn't know who her family even was. Ms. Tammer had always liked her and thought she was a good student so she decided to give her a second chance. "Okay. I'll make a deal with you Katie because I know you're a good student. I'll give you one more week to complete the assignment."

"Thank you," she grabbed her backpack and headed out of class before the teacher could say anything else to her. "I won't disappoint you."

She just wanted to go home.

* * *

A week later, Katie still didn't write anything. She still didn't ask Steve or Evelyn and she still didn't know what to write. She knew she could have written about the time she tried to run away. She had fond memories of her month of living without a TV or even about the time her family woke up loving her but later that day changed their minds.

Katie tried to plan out what she was going to tell Ms. Tammer, but she had no idea what to say to her either.

This wasn't going to go well.

She waited until the end of class to see how things panned out.

"Katie, stay behind please." Katie grabbed her stuff and sat in the desk in front of the teacher's. Ms. Tammer leaned against her desk and looked at Katie. "Do you have the assignment?" She shook her head. "Is there something going on at home?"

There was always something going on at home.

Evelyn was always mad these days, always mad at her for doing something. She was too loud, messy and complicated for her these days. Steve said it was the baby, hormones or something.

Katie shook her head no. "Everything is fine," she sighed.

"I'm going to have to contact your parents and fail you," Ms. Tammer said.

"No, please." She said softly. "Please don't call home."

"Then you better start explaining why you didn't do the assignment." Her teacher waited for a reply from Katie, but she sat in silence trying to figure out what to say. "Katie, I'm on your side. I want you to succeed."

"I didn't do the assignment because I'm adopted. I don't know who my parents are. My parents didn't want me." She explained, looking at her hands. It was the only way to keep herself from crying. She didn't like crying, not in front of people anyway. "I didn't want to lie about Evelyn and Steve being my parents."

"Oh my god... I had no idea. You should have told me I would have come up with something else you could have done." Ms. Tammer said.

"Can I go?" She asked.

"Yes, I'll have an assignment in place of this one for you by tomorrow. Something fun," Ms. Tammer smiled. "Just tell me next time, okay?"

"Okay. I'm sorry," she smiled. "Thank you."

* * *

There weren't a lot of people Katie liked in school, but there also weren't a lot of people she could tolerate. Jessica was one of the people she hated. She tormented her for not having any friends and always made her feel bad about herself.

And Katie never found the energy to fight back because she knew that she was right.

"Katie, you're going to be partners with Jessica." Ms. Tammer assigned.

They were supposed to make a creative project for the book they had been reading. Katie moved over to sit next to Jessica.

"Great... I have to work with the freak." Jessica muttered to her friends and they all started laughing.

"I'm sorry, Katie." Ned sighed as he picked up his books and moved over to where his partner was.

"Did you even read the book?" Jessica sneered, sitting down next to her.

"Yes," she replied.

"Well, you were probably too stupid to understand it. I'll make the project and you can present it." Jessica probably knew how much Katie hated class presentation and was doing this to punish her. "Sound good?"

"Okay," she shrugged.

Katie was not going to fight anything so she agreed.

The next day, Jessica signed them up to go first with a smile on her face. "Don't mess this up, you freak," Jessica muttered as they both went to the front of the class.

The problem was Jessica never even showed Katie the project, so she was for sure going to mess this up, badly. Jessica handed her the box that contained their project and she opened up the lid. Inside she found a rat.

Katie screamed and dropped the box. Jessica started laughing, the whole class started laughing. Ned was gone. She didn't know why.

She started hyperventilating and ran out of the room. She waited until she was safely in the hallway. She wasn't crying because everybody was laughing at her or because Jessica was mean enough to pull a prank like that. She was crying because once when she was younger one of her foster parents got really mad because they found rats in the basement. They blamed her for it, even though she never even went in the basement.

She was six. The worst house she'd ever been in.

The dad was so mad that he locked her in the basement for three days and made her stay with the rats. As soon as she got out she called Evelyn and got the hell out of there, but she was traumatized ever since. She couldn't stand looking at any kind of rodent and even got upset just thinking about them.

Ms. Tammer came out into the hallway and gave her a hug. "Jessica is going to the principal and I already gave her detention for two weeks. Are you okay?" She didn't answer. "You have a lot of catch up work to do. Can you eat in my classroom today during lunch?" She still didn't answer. "Look if you want to change things, you're going to have to go out there and change them yourself. People are going to tell you who you are your whole life. People judge others so quickly, but you just have to punch back and tell them who you really are. Okay?"

"Okay," she nodded.

* * *

Weeks passed and Katie caught up, she started to eat lunch with Ms. Tammer every day, talking about books she read or about little things that happened at home.

Ned had moved away. That was why he was gone that one day. He'd called her one night to explain, apologizing for only calling now. She didn't know what to think, but she told him it was no big deal and they talked for hours. He said he really wish he could've said goodbye to her in person and she wished he had too.

They were thirteen.

The next morning, she couldn't find the energy to get out of bed.

"Katie," Steve said as he entered. "Why are you still in bed? You're going to miss the bus."

She felt so awful she could barely move.

Everything hurt.

"Evelyn, honey?" Steve called out and Evelyn waddled into the room. "What is going on sweetie?" Steve said finally going into her bedroom.

"I feel sick." She said before she started coughing. "Everything hurts."

"Let me feel your head," Evelyn sighed as she made her way to the bed and felt her head. "Ooh, you're hot to the touch. Okay, you're staying home. Umm... honey go get her something to drink and cold wash rag?"

Steve ran off to get the things as Evelyn helped situate Katie enough.

"You get some rest," she kissed her cheek, which was also hot to the touch.

When she woke up later she felt even worse. She tried everything she could to get warm, but kept failing. She knew she had a fever, but she felt so cold.

"Hey you," Steve said as he inched inside with a bowl of steaming soup, she hoped. "Are you hungry?"

"Do you have medicine?" She coughed.

"Your mom's off to go get some stuff for you," he smiled.

"She's feeling better too?" She asked.

"For now," he said sitting beside her and helping her sit up. "Open up." He spoon fed her the warm soup that warmed her up inside. "How's it feel?"

"Good. Thank you, dad," she smiled as he fed her the last one and pressed the washrag to her head again.

He kissed her forehead and set the bowl down, giving her a drink of the water he'd brought her earlier. "I'll bring you in some medicine when your mom gets here," he whispered. "Do you want to watch something? I can hook up the VCR in here like old times."

"Really?" She whispered, smiling. "That would be awesome."

"Yeah, movies always make me feel better when I'm sick." Steve smiled.

Katie nodded and crawled back into bed, laying her head down on her pillow in the most comfortable way possible.

Steve had hooked up the VCR and she watched all of her favorite movies, and even Steve watched one with her after giving her some medicine.

After two days of no change, Evelyn took her temperature and they decided to bring her to the hospital.

She had a temperature of 101 and she hadn't gotten any colder from the first day.

Evelyn was hysterical. She couldn't believe they'd let her get this sick with Liam in the house. He was only four months old.

"I'm the worst mother in the world," Evelyn whispered, opening the passenger door to their station wagon.

"Calm down. It's okay, go back inside and be with Liam." Steve said, reassuring her as he placed Katie in the backseat with a blanket wrapped around her. "We have to go to the hospital."

* * *

Steve sat in the hospital room with Katie, who was nervous that she was going to die.

"She has pneumonia," the doctor said. "Pretty common in young kids. Make sure you give her these antibiotics and she should be better in a couple of days, if not bring her back because this could become a really serious situation." The doctors informed them. "I do want to keep her overnight to make sure we get her fever down."

"See sweetie, you are going to be okay," Steve reassured her. "Just a night in the hospital."

"I'm not gonna die?" Katie asked.

The doctor laughed and so did Steve.

"No, you're gonna be just fine in a few days." Steve kissed her head. "Now let's help your mom calm down and give her a call. She's still freaking out." He lightly brushed the hair out of her eyes and kissed her forehead as he backed up and went to make a call in the hallway.

Katie nodded her head yes and then turned away so no one could see her face. At that moment she sort of wished she had died.

She never believed that she was smart. She always knew she was capable of taking care of herself, but that there was something wrong with her. Her parents didn't want her and she was never able to make any friends.

She was better off dead.


	11. Chapter 11: Present

When Melinda called Jim back a week later, he was pleasantly surprised to hear she was going to be in New York this weekend. They'd set up a coffee date and Melinda sat there as Jim brought them their coffee.

He hadn't seen her in so many years. They were still so young when he last saw her, but now she'd softened.

"It's good to see you," Jim smiled as he fixed his badge, pulling out his chair and sitting down.

Melinda had always been beautiful but seeing her again only reinforced that truth. She was of fair complexion, one that showed she smiled often. She had the kindest pair of coffee brown eyes, somehow still gentle and still held that warmth within them.

"I haven't seen you since our ten-year high school reunion," she grinned, taking the mug from him. "How have you been?"

"I've been busy of late," he chuckled. "Mostly with work, but something else has come up too. How about you?"

"Oh, I've kept myself busy over the years," she smiled, drinking her cup of coffee. "But what's this about? What made you want to call little ol' me and ask me to meet for coffee?" Her gaze slid to the side, to admire the business of New York City. "I'm so glad I finally was able to see this city, even if only for a little bit."

"Why didn't you tell me, Melinda?" He replied, rubbing his jaw.

"Tell you what?" Melinda looked back at him and then back to the street. "She found you, didn't she?"

"You mean our daughter? Yeah, and not in the way she or I expected." He shrugged. "My rookie partner is her boyfriend. She's in some trouble, in the hospital after being beaten by a drug dealer."

"Is she okay?" She asked. "Does she want to find me?"

"She does," he replied. "I knew I could get you here quick. She needs you right now Melinda, more than she ever probably did."

"My intentions were always to find her, but I kept getting sent off on bad leads." She explained. "I almost found her when she was four, her adoptive mother passed and the husband put her in the system, but I was deferred to some social worker of a different child and lost her all over again. I've been trying to find her caseworker and I thought I had, but it just ended up being a dead end."

"You found the right person," he sighed. "She just was too selfish to tell you anything."

"What?" Melinda's eyes were misty as she wiped away her tears, looking at him. "What do you mean?"

"Evelyn Taylor ring a bell?" He asked.

"A caseworker in New York, yeah. She'd moved to Maine, but I tracked her down fiveish years ago. It was a dead end."

"Yeah," he sighed. "Evelyn Taylor adopted Katie when she was nine. She didn't tell you anything because she didn't want to. Little did she know it would backfire. Katie ran away and it just got worse for her."

"I can't do this," she muttered and stood up. "I can't think about back then Jim, and every time I think of you... I think of back then. I've come too far."

"Back then?" He asked, following her.

"All I think of is being back in that room with him sneering at me from the other side of the door," she cried.

"Your father," he muttered. "Melinda, if I had known... I would've saved you."

"That's the thing, no one knew. I was locked in my bedroom for seven months carrying a child that no one knew about." She replied, sitting back down slowly and then taking a sip of coffee. "I couldn't have told you even if I had wanted to."

"After Melinda. You could've told me after." He replied. "We could've gotten her back and raised her together!"

"After I was released from the hospital, I went with Andrea and I never looked back. It took me a long time until I was okay again and had a stable life... and then I started looking for her." She explained. "I wanted to find her first and then I'd find you, but I never did find her."

"Well she found me," he smiled and stepped closer to her. "She's pregnant and stuck in a gang, and we have to help her get out."

"Okay, how do I help?" Melinda asked. "I'll do anything."

* * *

Evelyn sat in a chair with her head in her hands as Ned returned with ice cream.

"What happened?" He asked her softly, passing her the cup of ice cream.

"She's freaking out about the baby," Katie sighed, lying back in the hospital bed. "Again."

"I can see that," he muttered. "Just know that no matter what happens, I'm here, for both of you."

She kissed him and then hugged him, swiping the ice cream from his hand and taking a bite of it.

"Where's Jim?" She asked moving over a little so he could settle near her.

"He went to go meet with someone," he shrugged off his jacket and stole a bite of ice cream from her with his own spoon. "Said he'd be back soon."

"Hey!" She laughed and then rubbed her jaw. "This is mine. Get your own."

He fought her for another bite and they dueled with their spoons happily, basking in something good for the first time in so long. They kissed, again, and he finally realized just how much he liked ice cream more when it was on her lips.

"You're getting an abortion," Evelyn said suddenly, breaking their happy mood. "You were probably on something when it was made. Do you even know who the father is?"

It was like an out-of-body experience as Evelyn stood there talking. It was just a pill, she said. A tiny pill, easy to swallow. That she would suffer for today, and then it would be like none of this ever even happened.

"Get out," she whispered.

"Katie, please hear me out," Evelyn yelled.

"What could you possibly say?" She cried, grabbing onto Ned for support. "I'm not killing our child."

"I do not want you to be that girl at the supermarket with three kids hanging off the shopping cart and a fist full of food stamps," Evelyn explained. "Is that what you want? Do you want to be fifty pounds overweight and struggling every day?"

"You must think that because you're a social worker that you know how every little thing in life goes, don't you?" She said, her heart beating faster with each word. "But Evelyn, you know nothing. You adopted me out of pity and not have you proved me otherwise. You've hurt me more than anyone in my entire life has because for the longest time I thought you were the only person I had on my side, but that ended up being a lie as well."

"Katherine," Evelyn whispered. "Please don't be like this."

"No, I see clearly now that you are here that I was only some trophy for you to show off how good of a person you think you are." She said flatly. "I should've never run away because that ultimately became an even bigger downfall for me when all I ever wanted to do was better myself. I want you to go, please."

"I won't let you go this time," Evelyn pleaded. "Not even if you cut me out again."

"Just go," she replied, teary-eyed. "Before I call someone and get you thrown out."

Evelyn turned on her heel and went for the door, as it opened and Jim appeared with a small box in his hands. "I was just-" Evelyn went to sneak past him.

"You should stay," Jim said and looked to Katie, whose brow furrowed. "She should stay." He turned back to Evelyn, who moved back slightly. "Your husband might want to be here as well."

"For what?" Evelyn asked.

Jim went to the door, peeking around it slightly to call for someone.

"Are you sure about this?" Melinda said softly to Jim. "I don't want to overwhelm her."

"Fine. I'll ask," he itched his head before turning to Katie with a smile.

"Jim!" Melinda gasped and grabbed his shirt, putting herself in the view of everyone now.

"And who are you?" Ned asked.

After removing her hat and moving her hair from her face, she straightened up with a smile. "I'm Katherine's mother," Melinda said softly. "I'm Melinda Gordon."


	12. Chapter 12: Past

**A/N: I thought it was time to show a little more backstory to what happened with Melinda. Especially since now she'll have a bigger role. Enjoy xx Mariah**

* * *

Two days passed since Melinda had given her daughter away. She was still at the hospital and still would pump breast milk for her, for now. She felt empty.

She remembered the way her cries filled the room; loud, rhythmic sounds, and she felt so connected with her that she couldn't put words to the emotions coursing through her body at top speed. She watched the nurse clean her daughter up and wrap her tightly in a pink-and-white-striped blanket, and then put a little pink cap on top of her head.

After the baby was born, the room was silent; the people who didn't need to be in there had left and the chaos was over. She was in unbearable pain, but she was staring at my daughter.

She had just brought a life into this world. All by herself, she had done it. Even if she was locked up in a room for months, her daughter was perfect and healthy.

The doctor came in, removing her from the serene moment in her memory and the other caseworker came in, holding official papers.

"Melinda, it's time," Dr. Dryke said. "I'll need your signature there, at the bottom. You read this over in my office a couple weeks ago. You've had 48 hours since she was born. Are you sure you want to give her up?"

"Yes," she muttered softly, not turning from her side. "I can't give her what she needs."

"Then your parental rights are relinquished and you will have no means of contacting the child unless her parents are to contact you per the child's request once she's old enough." The other caseworker replied. "Or once she reaches legal adulthood, then you may contact her."

She nodded shakily, feeling her body almost sink further in the bed. As the caseworker handed her the clipboard and the pen, she grabbed it and thought of her daughter's small, round face. She had come from her. There was nothing that would change that; there wasn't another woman in the world who could say that she birthed that beautiful, tiny baby.

"They'll take care of her?" She whispered.

"Yes," the caseworker smiled. "They are wonderful people."

She signed the papers.

Once she did, she passed the clipboard back and rolled back onto her side.

"It's for the best," she reminded herself quietly.

She would never touch her, no less hold her daughter, ever again. When the two women left the room, she cried harder than she ever had before.

* * *

It was hospital protocol to push her out to the parking lot in a wheelchair. She'd called Andrea, whom she hadn't spoken to in almost a year, but she was there to pick her up.

She felt empty. She stared straight ahead with a lifeless expression on her face, her body feeling weak and useless as she hobbled to the back seat. Andrea's hand stayed on my back the entire time, guiding and comforting her at the same time. She didn't spurn her touch; instead, she let herself give in to it. She shrank her body as best as she could into the seat. No tears came, but she felt more hopeless than she'd ever felt in her entire life.

"Are you going to fill me in on what's going on?" Andrea asked, driving off slowly.

"I was pregnant," she muttered, looking over at her friend. "She's gone and it's all because of Tom. I should've run. I should've never told him."

"No judgment from me," Andrea shrugged. "But who is the father?"

"It doesn't matter," she replied. "He doesn't know."

"Do you need somewhere to stay?" Andrea asked, driving down the main street that could get you just about anywhere. "I don't want you going back to that house with Tom."

"Would your mom be alright with that?" She asked.

"My mom has been worried sick since you disappeared. She never stopped calling and asking Tom, but he'd always shut her down." Andrea replied. "Let's go sneak in the house and get you some stuff while Tom is out."

"You know where everything is," she answered. "Can you go get it?"

"Of course," Andrea pulled in front of her childhood home. "You stay here."

Melinda nodded and her friend squeezed her leg before shutting the car off and dashing inside.

* * *

No one spoke after the run to the house and Melinda was glad for it. Andrea had grabbed everything essential and even grabbed her favorite photo of her mother and the one of her and Jim.

When they got back to Andrea's house, Andrea helped her get inside the house. She supported her up the stairs and her mother got the other various things that Andrea had grabbed for her. When they got inside and Andrea got her to the couch, she realized she was still clutching the baby blanket tight in her fist. She'd hid it from the nurse's and the doctor as a way of keeping something, anything, from her daughter.

She looked down at it and couldn't put a word to the amount of loss that she felt. She pressed the fabric to her face and breathed as the two women puttered about the house, making sure everything was in place. She could still smell her.

"Did I do the right thing?" She asked, almost too quietly to be heard.

Her breasts ached with excess milk. She needed to be feeding her; it was all going to waste. The nurse said her supply would dry up in a few days, but that she should be taking painkillers until then because it would be highly uncomfortable. The area between her legs was so incredibly sore that she couldn't even bear to sit on the couch without a pillow underneath. All of the effects of having the baby she still carried with her; her daughter was the only thing missing.

She looked up from her lap to see two pairs of eyes on her, not a single one of them knowing what to say.

"Melinda," Andrea's mother whispered and sat beside her, hugging her. "I'm so glad to see you. I've missed you dearly."

"You did what you thought was the best choice and that was the most you could do," Andrea said, sitting on the other side of her. "Just know, you will always have a place to stay."

"Yes," Andrea's mother smiled. "Once Andy told me you called, I readied a room for you and you can stay as long as need. You're always welcome here."

"Thank you," she whimpered. "Both of you." She started to cry; fat, hot tears rolled down her cheeks in droves. "I miss her," she sobbed, and grabbed both of her shoulders with my hands and leaned forward, trying to quell the cramps in her stomach. "I have all this pain and nothing to show for it. She's gone, and she's never coming back."

There wasn't anything more that any of them could say. Without looking up, she knew she wasn't the only one crying.

That night, she laid in bed next to Andrea. The room was warm and snug and Andrea was sound asleep just inches away, but she felt alone. She didn't know her body anymore; what she used to be so familiar with felt like it wasn't even hers to begin with.

She also knew that outside of Tom, Andrea and Andrea's mother, no one could ever know what happened.

Along with the guilt weighing her down, the bitter taste of shame was in her mouth as well. She was inadequate; the only reason she gave up her child was because she was selfish and because she wouldn't be able to take care of her on her own.

To her, she'd always be the newborn she held for just an hour.

She pictured what her life might look like without her. What would her adoptive mother call her? Would they have kept the name she wanted? She wondered who she would look like and if Jim would ever know. She was better off with someone else taking care of her. She deserved a better mother than she could ever be.

* * *

She hardly slept those first few weeks after she came home from the hospital, partially due to the pain her body was in and partially due to the fact that she couldn't get her infant daughter off her mind.

But as time crawled by, she was able to think of other things. She had just graduated from high school and was on the hunt for her first real job. Her life was changing, and as she got busier and busier, it became easier to clear her mind of the little person she'd given away. She stopped wondering how she looked, what her first word was when she walked, or how she was growing up. She stopped wondering if her adoptive parents would tell her the story of how she came to be theirs, or if they would tell her at all.

Years passed, she'd dated a guy, a stockbroker for almost a whole year, but he fell short of her expectations. She had shed her skin and become an entirely new person. She was happy, fulfilled and flexible. She played tennis once a week and went running every morning with Andrea.

It was like the baby never happened. She lived on her own with Andrea now, both finishing up their final year at college.

The world was a mysterious place and never once would it let you forget anything.

"Melinda," Andrea called out. "You have to see this."

"What?" She muttered, coming out of the kitchen with a glass of iced tea.

"Amanda Johnson dies of a brain aneurysm and leaves behind a husband, Nolan, and adopted daughter, Katherine Ann." Andrea read aloud, catching her attention, but then again she wasn't one to get hopeful. "Is that not what you named her?"

"Yes," she replied. "Why does that matter?"

"She looks like you when we first met," Andrea replied and held the newspaper to her. "She's being put up for adoption."

"She was right in Grandview, the whole time." She whispered softly, touching the picture of the girl in between the smiling couple. "I have to find her and save her from the system."

"Yes, we do." Andrea replied with a smile. "And I know just how to do it."


	13. Chapter 13: Present

**A/N: Oh the tension that is in this first scene is almost too much... enjoy xx Mariah**

* * *

There was a silence after Melinda walked into the hospital room.

Evelyn called her husband and walked out, not wanting to deal with anything as usual. Ned just silently pieced their similarities besides Katie and there were too many to count. Jim had gone to try and calm Evelyn down until Steve came.

"Could you maybe give us a minute?" Katie whispered, looking at Ned.

"Yeah," Ned stuttered, looking back at Melinda and then at Katie. "I'll be right out in the hallway. It was nice meeting you."

Melinda smiled at him and then noticed Katie was crying. "Oh, don't cry." Melinda walked forward. "If you start crying, so will I."

"I'm sorry, it's the hormones." She wiped the tears from her eyes. "I'm pregnant. I'm a mess right now. I have been since I ran away to find you five years ago."

"I never stopped trying to find you, but I never got the right leads." Melinda sat beside her, reaching over to wipe her daughter's tear. "You're beautiful, just as beautiful as the day you were born." Her hand lingered on her daughter's cheek and she leaned into it. Her hands were soft, nicely manicured and she had a nice dress on. "I wish I could give you a better explanation, but I was selfish. I could've kept you, but I was scared I'd be a terrible mother. My father never let me forget that."

"Can I get a hug?" She asked.

"Of course," Melinda smiled.

Katie had been hugged before, but never like this. This was her mother. There was something so warm, something that felt right, smelt right. She let her body sag, her muscles become loose and cried. At that moment the arms squeezed a fraction tighter and she breathed more slowly, her body melting into her mom's as every muscle lost its tension to the spring air. This was everything she'd ever wanted.

* * *

Evelyn paced outside the door, her husband's eyes watching over her. "What do you think is being said? Is Katie alright? She's probably emotional..." Evelyn was overthinking, but then again, who wouldn't at this moment?

"She was fine when I left," Ned replied. "Can you stop pacing? You're making me anxious."

"Honey, sit down." Steve said, pulling Evelyn to his lap. "What's she like?"

"When Jim said she looked like her mother... it was an understatement." Ned coughed, but smiled. "It's nice for me to see that. I can't imagine what it's like for her."

"She's always wondered who she looked like, if she looked like someone." Steve answered. "I can't wait to meet her. To thank her."

"For what? Giving her up?" Evelyn scoffed. "She hasn't done anything worth thanking."

"It's hard to think you actually wonder why Katherine ran away from you," Jim muttered softly, standing up. "I need air. I'll be back."

"I'm coming with," Ned stood.

"No. I want to be alone, please." Jim let his hand linger on the young man's shoulder before he turned and left.

The door opened before he was far and Katie was dressed in the clothes Ned had grabbed her and stood next to her mother.

"Jim," Melinda called for him and he turned around. "Would you like to join us on a walk to the cafeteria?"

"I would," Jim smiled and joined them.

And with her between them, some questions were answered. She was tall because of Jim and had his jaw, a strong posture and calm presence about her, but everything else was Melinda. Her eyes, her figure, her smile, even her warmth and heart. Ned just could tell.

"You must be Katherine's mother," Steve stood. "I'm her adoptive father. It's nice to finally meet you."

"Is he-" Melinda went to ask if he was the reason she'd run away.

"No, she is," Katie's words were soft, almost unheard, but Melinda hugged Steve.

"Thank you for everything you've done for her." Melinda said softly. "For doing what I couldn't."

"I'd do all over again if I got the chance," Steve smiled. "This is my wife, Evelyn."

"It's nice to meet you," she shook Evelyn's hand. "How'd you two find her?"

"I was Katie's social worker," Evelyn sighed. "And I felt that she moved around too much. She'd gone through so much just by losing her adoptive parents and then proceeded to jump around the system until we formally adopted her when she was nine."

"That's beautiful," Melinda replied. "But we'd like some time alone with her, I hope you understand."

Evelyn silently nodded, feeling Steve's hand at her back to almost calm her into silence.

"Don't forget," Ned stood. "You have an ultrasound at one."

"I know," Katie smiled and reached out for him. "C'mon. I want you with."

Ned met her with a kiss and leaned on him for support as they walked down the hallway. Steve and Evelyn could already hear Katie's laughter, it's contagious sound filling the halls. Maybe she could be happy now.

* * *

Melinda left with Jim to go get settled in his guest room until she could find a more permanent place to stay.

She'd found a way to do her responsibilities for her business from afar while her best friend Andrea ran things from home. This was the best part about having a two partnered business. Someone could be home running things if she needed to go anywhere.

"You can stay as long as you'd like." Jim smiled. "It's not like I have anyone to share this place with."

"I feel like a burden." She sighed, placing her bags on the bed.

"Don't," Jim replied. "We have a child together. I still love you, it's not hard for me to have you here."

"You still have feelings for me? After everything?" She looked at him, almost feeling the burn of his gaze like they were seventeen all over again.

The boy she loved was no longer a boy. He was a man. God, she loved this man, James Clancy.

"I love you Melinda and you don't have to do anything about it, but I always have. I would've married you then and I still would now." His hand went to touch her and she almost met it, but she couldn't.

She couldn't jeopardize Katie. If they didn't make it, then it could cost her Katie. She wouldn't lose her daughter again and if she did, this time it wasn't going to be because of anything she did. She had to do right by her. she deserved it.

"We can't," she whispered, stepping back from him. "What if we hurt Katherine in the long run?"

"Any child wants their parents to be together and happy," he replied, reaching out to grab her hand. "Isn't this what you would've done if we could go back in time?"

"If I could go back in time I would've kept Katie and found you, yes, but we have no idea if we'd still be together or if you would've wanted to know about a child at seventeen." She replied. "But as we cannot go back in time, I'll talk to her and think about it. Maybe we can go on a date."

"A maybe is better than a no," he grinned, stepping closer. "Can I kiss you?"

"Jim," she gasp dramatically, looking up at him. "How risque of you to ask."

"We have a child together," he looked at her sternly.

"I know. I was acting like my father," she joked. "I guess I can give you a kiss... it's the least I can do for you calling me to the city."

"Well, I'm waiting," he winked at her, leaning forward just slightly to kiss her lips, "Just like before..."

"I'm a little rusty with kissing," she giggled. "It's been so long."

"How long?" He asked.

"It would be too embarrassing to say," she laughed, reaching up to kiss him against. A simple kiss between them as she touched his face. "I just had to do that again... thank you for everything you've done Jim. Even back then..."


	14. Chapter 14: Past

**A/N: I've run out of ideas on what to show from Katie's life with Evelyn and Steve. for now, so I'm going to show some of her life when she's on her own at first. This is when Katie is sixteen. Enjoy... xx Mariah**

* * *

One morning Katie woke up and she knew what she had to do. She couldn't take being the unwanted child anymore. Nothing she did mattered to anyone anymore. Steve stopped asking questions and Evelyn didn't look her way unless she got a call from the school or letter in the mail. And with summer in full stretch, it was like she was a ghost.

She didn't have a say when they moved the first time, let alone when they moved again, even father this time, all the way to Maine.

Katie climbed out of bed and walked across the hall to the bathroom and took a shower, scrubbing the grime away from the hot summer night with soap before hopping out and wrapping a towel around herself. She crossed the hallway again and got dressed in her work uniform and tied her hair up. She looked in the mirror and tightened her pony before looking closely. She hadn't slept much lately. Did she need to throw some makeup on? The more she looked at herself, the easier it was for her cross the hallway and dab the bags under her eyes away. Mascara was next and she grabbed the tube of lip gloss and applied some as there was a knock on the door when she opened it.

"Where you off to?" Evelyn asked. "I don't think I've ever seen you up this early."

"Maybe if you checked in with me once and a while you'd know I started to work longer shifts." She walked past her and toward the kitchen where Steve was cooking breakfast.

"Eggs?" Steve asked.

"No, thank you," she said smiling at him, grabbing a banana and a purple mug to fill coffee.

"Do you want milk or sugar?" Steve laughed. "Since when did you start drinking coffee?"

"Since I started making it for other people," she nudged his side. "Sugar?"

"There you are," Steve handed it to her and kissed her forehead. "Have a good day at work."

"Haha, you have to work." Liam laughed as Steve put a plate in front of him. "How long does she work daddy?" The four-year-old always irritated her in the worst ways.

"She has to work until five just like mommy does," Steve replied.

"Haha!" Liam laughed. "You work like mommy does."

"You won't be laughing when I buy a car," she lied and took a drink of her coffee.

She had to keep up that she wasn't going to run away. That today wasn't her last day and she wasn't getting one check the size of two because she put her two weeks in.

Lying to them would help get her farther in the long run, right?

* * *

"Are you sure you want to leave?" Her boss said, handing her an envelope with her name on it. "You're one of the favorites around here."

"I need a little break before senior year starts. I have so many college apps to put in," she replied with a smile. "Thank you for doing two checks in one so I don't have to wait."

"Of course. Anything for your two years of great employment," her boss smiled. "If you ever need a job, you are always more than welcome to come back."

"Thank you," she said and took the envelope. "I'll see you around."

She walked into the back and clocked out for the last time, before going out the back entrance and walking toward the bank. She knew exactly what she needed to do, what she needed to buy and how everything would be going down tonight.

She walked into the bank directly across the street from the coffee shop and grabbed a pen from the teller, signing the back of both checks.

"What would you like to do with these checks?" The teller smiled at her.

"I'd like to cash them and I'd also like to make a withdrawal." She replied and took a withdrawal slip.

She quickly signed that she wanted to completely drain her account and close it. It took a moment, but she eventually she got what she needed. She had five thousand three hundred dollars cash in her wallet as she walked toward the door.

Everything would go great. She had enough money to get herself started and find her mother.

Her next stop was home to grab her bags and head to the bus station. Then she'd be off and she'd see Ned again. It had been almost a year since she'd last seen him and she couldn't wait to see that beautiful face of his. They would be together forever and then they'd find her mother together. Everything was going to be great.

"Katie?" A voice came out clearly.

She turned on her heel and came face to face with Miss Tammer. Her seventh-grade English teacher.

"Katie, oh look how grown up you are!" Miss Tammer grinned and opened her arms.

"Hey, Ms. Tammer... it's been a while." She smiled and hugged her. "I feel like it was just yesterday when you were teaching me a love for English."

"Yes, it has!" Miss Tammer grinned and rubbed her side. "How have you been?"

"Okay," she sighed. "I'm doing great! Just cashing my check and am on my way home."

"Oh how great of you to have a job," Miss Tammer smiled. "Don't forget to stop by for lunch sometime."

"Like old times," she smiled. "Definitely!"

Even with the plans she'd had ahead, she did think about returning her life to normal. To try and deal with the pain she feels every day under Evelyn's grasp. But that wasn't that plan. She had to leave. She turned directly on her heel and left the bank. This is exactly what she needed. She needed to be free of judgment. To be with the man that she loved and find her mother who she'd sought for too many years to count.

* * *

S he walked confidently into the bus station, her two duffel bags over her shoulder. Katie still had her hair tightly pulled back, but had fixed her outfit into a warm snugly outfit. She pulled out a thick wad of bills and cautiously flipped through them while looking at the teller. "One way ticket to New York, please." She smiled.

"That's a long journey you've got ahead of you. Almost eight hours." The elderly woman smiled warmly at her. "That'll be twenty five dollars."

"Yes," she smiled uneasily at the woman. "Thank you. I'm going to see my boyfriend."

She flipped the hood of her sweatshirt up over her face and readjusted the leather bag on her shoulder. A voice rang out over the loudspeaker and announced that Bus 2698 would be departing to New York in a few short minutes. She sprinted through the throngs of travelers back outside, running toward the one with the number corresponding to her ticket.

"Hold the door!" she shouted as she saw the last passenger step on. "Please!" The driver looked at her strangely as she catapulted herself up into the vehicle.

"Ticket, please?" He asked.

She flashed him the damn paper and he waved her past. She hurried down the aisle and shoved herself into a window seat in the second to last row. The hiss and rumble of the engine shot a wave of relief through her body. Only a few short hours until she'd meet Ned at the bus station in the greatest city in the world. The bus moved a few feet forward, barely picking up speed before it hissed to a stop.

"Excuse me!" A deep, manly voice called. "Do you mind if I look aboard?"

"Not at all, Officer," the driver replied.

Heavy footsteps resounded in the girl's mind as they slowly came closer. Her feet were shaking and a thin sheen of sweat broke out across her forehead. This couldn't be happening, not after everything she'd just been through. She had to get out. She wouldn't survive if she went back. The footsteps got closer, and she turned her head towards the window with closed eyes and prayed. The footsteps stopped. She could hear heavy, familiar breathing and her heart came to a stop all together.

"Well!" The footsteps retreated. "Everything seems to be in order. Safe travels, everyone."

"Thank you, Officer. Have a good night." The footsteps were gone altogether and the bus began moving again.

The young woman let out a long, shaking breath. "Thank you, God," she breathed, her tears not falling down her cheeks today. "Thank you... thank you."

She settled in her seat and looked out the window. She couldn't wait to get some shut eye and then see Ned.

* * *

She woke with a start, not even realizing she had drifted off. The bus screeched to a stop, and she banged her head against the cool Plexiglas of the window. She surveyed the rest of the bus and tenderly rubbed her forehead and noticed that half of the passengers were gone. Maybe she could use a bit more rest.

"Excuse me, miss," the driver said, reaching out to touch her and she moved away suddenly, smacking her forehead again. "I didn't mean to startle you, but perhaps you might want to get up and stretch your legs a little? Get a bite to eat?"

She nodded and slowly stood on sleepy legs, stretching. She threw her bag over her shoulder and collected the other duffel bag before walking down the aisle.

"Where exactly are we?" she asked the driver timidly.

He offered her a kind smile. "New York City, Miss," he told her. "You're one of the last ones off. Have a nice time."

"Thank you," she said, and moved to step off the bus, carefully stepping onto the blacktop. The lights of the city shone in the distance, they were just outside downtown and she could see Times Square from here. "I made it."

She made her way across the street. Lined in a cookie-cutter fashion was a post office, a general store, and a dress shop, she smiled and took it all in, smelling the nearby ocean. The ocean was just steps away. She hadn't felt the cool touch of the ocean licking her toes in years. Her nose twitched at the smell of fresh bread, and her eyes twitched to the right, where a small but sturdy looking building sat, just a few feet away from the others but far enough to be a separate entity.

She drifted over towards the front of the bakery. A few of the bus passengers had wandered in and where cooing over what was behind the glass in the display cases. In the front window were three intricately decorated cakes, each one with a different yet equally astounding design. The sight of them triggered a grumble in her belly, reminding her that her last meal was hours ago. She went inside. Almost immediately she was assaulted by an array of delightful aromas. She could place most of them; blueberry muffins, chocolate chip cookies, cinnamon raisin bagels.

"Can I help you?" The woman's head snapped up to the counter, where a young man with a mop of black hair leaned cockily against the wood. He wore an apron stained with flour and icing over a thin white tee, and even from her spot across the room the woman could still make out the shining blue of his eyes.

"Um, yes," she said softly, making her way towards him. "Just a cinnamon raisin bagel and uh... can I get a pipping hot blueberry tea, please." It was one of the least expensive items on the menu hanging above the counter. The woman placed her leather bag on the counter and unzipped it. She fingered the inside pocket, pulling out a few bills, not wanting to grab too much

"That's all?" the man asked with a smile. "Skinny little thing like yourself needs something with a bit more sustenance, don't you think?"

"Just the bagel and tea," she repeated sternly. "Please."

"Whatever you say," he said with a shrug. "That'll be two seventy-five." She gave him three singles, and he returned to them a shiny quarter without missing a beat. He readied a small brown bag and gave her an empty medium coffee cup. "There you are... come back soon."

"Maybe," she smirked and walked back to the door, holding it open for someone before sneaking out, going to the nearest bench.

The cream cheese melted against her mouth as she took the first bite. So much better than the bagels they had back home. She looked around, covering her mouth as she chewed. Where was Ned? He said he'd be here when she got off the bus, and well, that was a few minutes ago.

She took a drink of her tea and it glided so well over her taste buds. She loved tea and the way it had a way of calming her. Now wasn't the time to worry because everything was going to go great. Ned would be here any minute.

"Katie!" A voice yelled and she looked up to see Ned with a big sign that said _Welcome to New York City_ in his sloppy scribble, but it made her smile and she grabbed her duffel bag and purse before throwing the last bite of the bagel in her mouth and running to him. She was standing inches from him when they embrace and he put the sign down, properly hugging her. "You're here."

"I'm here," she smiled at him, touching his face. "I love you."

There was something so heavenly about a kiss for the first time in a year, a tender moment that just won't wait. It is that burst of love that was expressed, not caring if the mere touch of his skin on hers lit a fire all the way down her legs. It was a connection that showed the strength of the feeling, the mutual need.

He dropped his sign and she dropped her tea in the trash beside them as he kissed her. He kissed the tears from her lips, and she felt his lips smile against hers. He swept her hair aside and kissed her just over the collarbone. He nibbled at her ear, and then she sank herself into his arms. She hung her fingers on his belt, dragging him closer. He buried his face in her shoulder curve, his hands flexing around her back.

He gave a reduced groan. "I love you," into her hair. "This is the happiest moment that I will ever have. I'm sorry about your tea."

"It's okay," she smiled.

"Let's get you home," he grinned and kissed her again, taking her bags from her. "It's only a few blocks away."

* * *

"Just so you know, I have like zero expectations for tonight," he told him earnestly. They'd just ate dinner with his mother and were finally in his large bedroom. They're at the door, standing in front of each other. Far from touching. "It's probably going to be terrible. And that's okay," he added.

"Nonfictional first times are always awful. It can't be avoided." She joked.

He stepped forward, the toes of his sneakers bumping hers. "So you don't have any expectations?" He looked hurt.

"Oh no," she smiled at him, stepping past him and placing her purse down on his desk chair. "I think it'll be wonderful, but for different reasons."

She was about to ask how they should proceed. Do they take off their clothes immediately or ease into it? Do they undress themselves or each other? Who's on top? Well, Ned should probably be on top, she reasoned. That's the most logical position for the very first time. But she'd be able to control the depth better if she were on top, she also realized.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked, grabbing her hand and kissing her breathless before whispering, "stop thinking so much Katie."

"It's hard to just turn off thoughts," she admitted.

He grinned at her as he pushed her back onto his bed. "Challenge accepted." They kissed again as he settled on top of her, his forearms bearing the brunt of his weight so she's not uncomfortable. She liked the way his arms framed her face as they kissed, the way he was surrounding her with himself. "I've thought about this so many times," he admitted. "I've got so many plans for us."

"Like what?" she asked, panting already. "What kind of plans?"

"A lifetime's worth," he said softly, cupping her cheek. "I love you. I wanna marry you Katie."

Their lips connected again, but this time with more passion than ever before. She could taste the need for each other in the kiss, the pleasant sensation of the friction against her core caused her to sigh against his lips and his grip on her to tighten.

When she began to roll her hips against his, eliciting a groan from deep within his throat, he grabbed her hips to stop her.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" He whispered, just wanting to make sure.

"Of course. I love you," she kissed him again.

He was right. They didn't have to do this, but she wanted to. They were ready for that commitment and she couldn't wait to finally see what fun sex could be.

He moved onto his side and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her against his chest tightly. She could clearly feel his arousal against her lower back now, and she pressed herself against him enjoying his sharp intake of air. All of this was so foreign for her and it was causing excitement to course through her veins.

His arm that was around her began to raise her shirt a bit, slowly running his hand over her stomach. She normally was never embarrassed about her thin frame, but beneath his hands, she felt so small. They were callused from the years of having to slave in his step dad's kitchen, but warm and soft against her skin. His lips found the exposed skin of her neck and placed small, open-mouthed kisses along it, reveling in the sighs she emitted in response. She gasped when she felt his hand undo the button on her pants. No one had ever touched her there, besides herself.

"Do you trust me?" He voice was low and hoarse against her ear.

"Yes." It was the truth. She always had, evening the beginning when they ran into each other in the hall in seventh grade. They were instant best friends, even when he moved away when they were thirteen to New York City. She'd convinced Evelyn to drive her there every summer for a week to see him and his mom would come to see her every spring break, except the last. When she found out they were dating. That they'd fallen madly in love with one an other. "I always have."

She felt him smile against her neck as he unzipped her pants and slowly slipped his hand inside the clothing.

"Tell me if you want me to stop, and I will." He promised in a low whisper.

She merely shook her head in response, his fingers were already rubbing small circles over her center and she wouldn't dare tell him to stop now. Thankfully with this position, they looked as if they were just cuddling, his movements camouflaged by the sleeping back and the night in case his mother were to come in.

He moved her underwear aside and made contact with her moist lips, and they both released a sigh. He wanted to see her, touch her, taste her more than anything, but he could settle with this for right now. It was all they could do without blatantly displaying their affection for the entire world to see.

"You're wet." He whispered proudly, his lips now kissing behind her ear.

"Sorry?" She questioned, unsure whether or not that was a good thing.

"Don't be. It's great. So great." He increased the pressure of his fingers, and her hand grasped his wrist, surprised by the sudden sensation within her. She quickly decided that she needed more of whatever that was. She felt as if her body was on fire, in the best possible way. She was burning with a need she had never experienced before.

His fingers moved just a little more and he found her opening, slipping a single finger inside of her. She welcomed the foreign intrusion, moving her legs a little to give him more room. She had heard of guys doing this before, a lot of the girls at school used to talk about their boyfriends and the things they did. Katie had never had time to sit around for those conversations; she usually left school right after the final bell to escape to to the cafe for work, or even just to read a book and sip some tea.

Most assumed that she was sneaking off for other activity because she was the adopted girl, but little did they know she read the entire high school library out by sophomore year. Romance and relationships were never something that Katie gave a lot of thought about, until Ned. When he outgrew her and started to bulk up from all the heavy box carrying and even then started playing sports, she knew what an attraction was. She'd read about it. A lot. And then some. She started thinking about growing up, having kids. Though she swore she never would, not in a world where she could easily die and her kids be placed in the terrible system or be forced to live with Evelyn and her second-best mentality.

Ned gave her a future to look forward and he loved her too.

She rocked against his hand, needing more pressure. He added another finger and set a slow pace with his hand, and the sounds she was making would haunt his dreams for the rest of his life, he was sure of it.

"Ned," she sighed, quickly biting down on her bottom lip as he increased the pace of his hand.

He was thankful for his older step-brothers now, and all of the conversations he had to endure listening to while they cook beside him in the restaurant with Tim. It was their advice that made him curl his fingers inside her in a 'come hither' way, having been told that drives a girl wild. They weren't wrong. He'd tell them all about it.

Katie let out a low moan, arching her back against him. If it wasn't obvious before what the couple was up to in his room, her sounds were making it quite obvious. He was beyond caring at this point, though. His focus was on her, and making her feel as good as he possibly could. He could feel her clenching against his fingers, and he began to rub her with his thumb and before she even knew what was happening she came around his fingers. His name left her lips in a strained sigh, her hand gripping his wrist almost painfully as she rode out her climax. She wasn't quite sure what that feeling was, but it was the best thing she had ever felt.

She turned her head to face him, capturing his lips with hers in a heated kiss and moved on top of him.

"That's enough for tonight," he gasped, kissing her too. "You go change into pajamas and I will to and we'll get some rest." She was still out of breath as he moved from underneath her and to his closet. she moved over to her bag and changed quickly as he did, neither really glancing at the other out of respect, before climbing back into bed. "I'm so glad you're here. We have all summer to find your mom and be tourists together, besides when I work. Which is a lot, but I have nights and weekends off."

"That's perfect," she yawned, settling on his chest and closing her eye, drifting off to sleep with Ned.


	15. Chapter 15: Present

**_August 1995 - three months later_**

New York City was hot in the summer. People think July is the scorcher month, but it's got nothing on the humid and hazy days of August. Ned was lucky to work up in the AC and not be out patrolling traffic, his uniform was usually soaked with sweat by mid-morning and sticking to his body if he's outside.

"Good morning, Ned." Jim greeted him with a smile and he wondered exactly how much coffee it takes for someone to be so chipper at quarter to six in the morning.

"Morning," he was not nearly as enthusiastic and he stood up from his desk and made his way to the coffee pot nearby. coffee was never good in the station, but he always had a cup. He was used to now. "Have a good time last night?"

"I assume Katie told you of her mother and I going on a few dates this week," Jim cleared his throat as he sat down.

"She did," he sat back down with his coffee a moment later, flicking on the fan he had on his desk. "Did you two do something together last night?"

"We went dancing," Jim said, unwrapping his breakfast burger from McDonald's and taking a bite as he loaded up his computer.

"Sounds like a night of fun," he mumbled and ran a hand through his hair.

"How are things with Katie and the pregnancy?" Jim asked and his eyes looked Ned up and down. "You look tired."

"I do?" He raised an eyebrow and gave him an annoyed look. "I guess I have lost some sleep. Katie's been tossing and turning a lot since we moved into the new apartment."

Their attention turned to the sound of a throat clearing and they both saw their Sargent. He held a stack of files in his hands and began passing them out to each pair of detectives.

"Everything alright, Sarge?" Jim asked.

"Another missing call girl from Cray Z's," the older Sargent muttered. "I need you and Banks to go door-to-door asking about her. See if anyone around the last area she was seen in has seen her before and who with. And Ned? Do you think that girl of yours might know her? Wasn't she a part of Danny's crew?"

Jim stood and took the file as Ned stepped toward the Sargent.

"I can ask her," he said, rubbing his chin. "She doesn't like to talk about that time. It was rough for her."

"If she remembers anything, we might be able to save this girl," the Sargent reminded him.

"I understand. I'll see what she remembers," he said, turning to walk with Jim.

* * *

After canvassing for information and coming up empty-handed, Jim and Ned returned to the station just in time for their lunch hour and for the temperature to rise to an unbearable 96 degrees.

"I have lunch plans with Melinda. I'll be back in a half an hour," Jim said as Ned started to get out of the squad car.

He nodded, knowing his bag lunch waited for him inside, which wasn't too different from usual but he wished he had lunch with Katie as often as Jim did with Melinda. Ned headed back into the precinct without so much as a nod of acknowledgment He busied himself with writing reports as he ate his lunch.

He looked up as he finished his second report and saw Katie walk in.

"It's so hot out there!" Katie waved her face as she came toward Ned. At twenty-two weeks, she looked positively gorgeous despite being twice her normal size. She looked as though she held a cantaloupe hostage under her shirt as she sat on his lap. "Hey, you... how's work been?"

"Lots of desk work," he sighed. "I went canvassing for some information about a missing person with Jim for a bit too. Nothing came from it though."

"Were you canvassing about that girl who went missing from the club?" She asked.

"How'd you hear about that?" He was surprised she'd heard about her already. He'd barely known for long.

"I heard about it on the news and thought I'd drop by to see you. I've been writing down everything I could remember about her," she sighed, moving to sit in the chair near his desk. She fished through her small handbag for a piece of paper. "It kind of shocked me that anyone would do something to her considering she kept to herself most of the time. She never got into trouble. Just came in for her shifts to try and make some extra cash for tuition. I think her stage name was Lola," she gave him the piece of paper in from of him on the desk. "Her real name was Haley. She had a sister, Nicole, in Staten Island." She pushed her oversized white sunglasses to the top of her head and gave him a pleading look. "She was really sweet and always checking in on any new girls. She auditioned the same day I did."

He reached out and held her hand, kissing it. "I'm sorry about all this."

"It's fine, I'm managing." She whispered. "What are we doing for dinner tonight?"

"What are you hungry for?" He asked.

"Do you want to order in? I don't want to turn the oven on and melt our apartment." She suggested, smiling and gazing at her boyfriend.

They both turn as Jim and Melinda came walking through the precinct door. Melinda had her arm looped in Jim's, laughing at something he'd said.

"Hey, how's it going, you two?" Jim asked, his arm rubbing Melinda's side as she leaned into him.

"Hey," she smiled at her parents, so happy to see them enjoying their time together. "I just stopped by to give Ned some info on that missing girl. I knew her."

"Oh, baby," Melinda smiled sadly at her daughter. "Do you need someone to walk you back to your apartment?"

"That would be great," she said brightly. She'd grown closer to Melinda in the last three months, closer than she would've imagined, but since Evelyn and Steve had to go home to Maine, she'd only had her mother to hang out with.

"Quite nice of you," Jim whispered in her ear. "Thank you for lunch, my love."

"Of course," Melinda smiled up at him. "I'd never imagined having as much fun with anyone, but you."

"See you later," she said before pressing a kiss to Ned's lips as she stood up. "I'll see you for dinner. I'll order something good. Any suggestions?"

"Surprise me," he whispered, pulling her back for another kiss before she slipped out of the precinct with Melinda.

* * *

Her mother sat with her, both of them drinking iced tea and talking about little things. About favorite books and the first time Katie ever kissed someone.

"You don't talk about before you were adopted by the Taylor's much," Melinda took a sip of her iced tea.

"I don't like to talk about it," she shrugged. "It wasn't a good time, you know?'

"Yeah, I understand that," Melinda said, rubbing her hand on her leg. "You can tell me though if you want to. I could even tell you some stuff about me that wasn't a good time."

"Okay, so I tell you something and you tell me something?" She laughed, rolling her eyes at the thought of her troubled childhood. "Well, I don't remember the first family that adopted me when I was born. I was too little, but I remember when Evelyn picked me up for the first time. I remember crying a lot and making a best friend from the first foster family I remember. She was my foster sister and her name was Hannah. Her family took me in for a few years, but I don't remember why I had to move in the end. All I remember was that it was my birthday and I was six."

"I'm so sorry for making you live that life," Melinda broke down into a blubbering mess of tears and Katie held her, feeling her hormones get to her and tears spill down her cheeks. "I promised myself I'd find you when I let you go and when I heard about a little girl who'd lost her mother... and she shared your name, I really I thought I was going to find you. I'd fixed my life, you know? I wasn't trapped by my father anymore and I was almost out of college, but I got sent on a wrong lead to a different little girl and I guess that would've been around that time.

Melinda had never told her that before. She'd told her about trying to find her, but she'd never told her the little details. "Mom, I don't hate you for putting for adoption," she reasoned with her.

"Katie, my life wasn't hard before I turned seventeen." Melinda shook her head, wiping her tears away. "I was just a teenager when my mother died and your father was there through everything. He would come over and spend the night when my father was out of town for work." Her cheeks blushed just thinking about that time. Of the lingering kiss, the little gasps they'd make like one of them dared to take a little more than the other was used to. "I felt the love he had for me, even if we'd never said the words I love you."

Katie nodded, listening to her words. She'd never heard her mother tell this story in all of the time they'd known each other. Of the time when her parents fell in love and her mother became pregnant with her.

"But after the new year, things changed." Melinda sighed. "I found out about you not too long after and I hid it for a few weeks, but my father eventually found out when I stayed home from school a week in a row because I was too tired to move and felt like garbage. He put a lock on my door and started limiting my time outside once I started to show. He said I was a disgrace to the family for being such a whore, but that I could fix things once I had you by giving you up. I didn't want to and I was scared too scared to try and tell your father. I didn't think I'd be able to make it on my own."

She understood more now why she'd done what she did and just held her mom. "I'm sorry that happened," she whispered. "I know what it's like to be locked inside somewhere. A foster parent of mine found out we had rats and locked me in the basement with them whenever they thought I was bad."

"I wish I'd just kept you and ran," Melinda whispered, looking over at her. "None of that terrible stuff would've happened to you."

"You can't change the past," she shook her head. "I'm just glad we have each other now."

"Me too," Melinda smiled and hugged her.

* * *

When Katie got home, she hadn't realized Ned was having some of his coworkers over. Two were sitting on the couch in the living room and another was in the kitchen with Ned.

Immediately the woman sitting beside the guy who she thought was Scott stood up. "You must be Katie, Ned's always talking about you at work." The blonde said. "It's nice to finally meet you. I'm Lauren Benson. That's Scott O'Neill, a rookie, and my new beau."

Benson and Scott. She nodded, smiling. Ned had mentioned those names before. "It's nice to meet you."

"So, when's your baby shower?" The blonde asked.

Apparently Ned had invited some of his old cadet buddies over for snacks and to watch the game, and while she happy to get acquainted with them, the only topic anyone seemed interested in talking about was the baby, and anything and everything relating to the baby.

"Oh, I don't know," she said, pushing around the food on her plate. "My bio mom and I are just getting to know each other, and my adoptive mother's…busy, so I think I'll probably just skip that."

"But they're so fun!" Lauren continued enthusiastically. "And you get so much stuff that you need for the baby. Can't your friends throw one for you? I'd love to help!"

"I don't have many friends," she mumbled, suddenly trying to fight tears. She was so emotional lately, and it was exhausting. She didn't want to care about these things. "Excuse me."

Ned caught her eyes from across the room, and again she was thankful that he was here. She'd almost forgot until now. "Hey, Katie, how's Melinda?"

She was happy to change the subject, and after she offered up the minimal details about her afternoon with Melinda, she politely excused herself to use the restroom. She only made it a few feet before the tears started to fall.

"Honey?" Ned asked, trailing after her into the doorway of the bedroom. "What's wrong?"

She brushed her hand over her face and shook her head. "Um, nothing. I just, uh- I had a long day."

"It's okay. It's just her hormones," Scott said, coming up next to them on his way into the kitchen. "My ma would act the same way when she was pregnant."

"I'll be alright," she promised, still dabbing at her damp eyes as she pressed a kiss to his cheek. "He's right, it's just the hormones. Go have fun with your friends Ned. I'm going to lie down." She closed the door behind her.

That night, Ned held her as she cried for hours, everything she never even realized she was holding in finally seeping out in frustration. They'd found out that Ned wasn't the father. She didn't know how to handle that.

Her tepid relationship with Evelyn, how much she was scared to love Melinda. Even with both of them, her lack of female support to help her transition into motherhood…every single doubt, worry, and grievance broke free that night, and while she hoped she'd feel better in the morning, Katie only felt more exhausted when she woke up after the few hours of sleep she did get.

Ned was already gone for work. There was a letter, telling her to wear a dress today and that he loved her. Also that she should go over to Jim's apartment to see Melinda again.

Once she was dressed in a soft, blue dress she caught herself a taxi and went to Queens. She watched the streets, waiting for Jim's building to call out to her. Once she saw it, she pointed it out to the driver and paid him as she got out.

Katie quickly went up to the third floor and as Melinda let her and flipped the light on, bathing the room in a soft yellow glow, she froze in surprise as Ned, Jim, Evelyn, Steve, and Liam were all there. There was a sea of presents and balloons. Ned adjusted the light green party hat askew on top of his head, then enthusiastically blew on the noisemaker to greet her.

"What are you all doing here?" she asked, trying to take everything in. There was a new baby swing in the corner with a giant bow on it, piles of wrapped boxes stacked high on top of each other, an army of stuffed animals positioned on the couch…

"It's a baby shower," he said, flashing the grin at her as he wrapped his arm around her waist. "We've had it planned for weeks."

She burst into tears. "Oh my god, you didn't have to do this!"

"Hey, don't cry," Melinda said, smiling at her. "It's your shower! It's a happy day!" Melinda led her to the center of the room, sitting her on the rocking chair that was also adorned with the large bow. "This was all a lot of fun, actually. I love to shop, you know that."

"Thank you," she said, sniffling.

"Anytime, Melinda smile and went to sit by Jim.

Katie smiled as she started going through all the presents, thanking them all profusely for each one. They each waved her off modestly, then Ned stood up and grabbed another bag from the kitchen.

"Real talk, honey," he said, sitting in front of her and opening the candy bag. "Now, do you want to play that game where we melt the chocolate in diapers, or…" He held up a bunch of candy bars, waving them enticingly in front of her, "Do you just want to eat them?"

She grabbed a Butterfinger and grinned back at him. "This is the best baby shower ever."

"Of course it is. I planned it," he winked, wrapped his arm around her as he pressed a kiss to her cheek.


	16. Chapter 16: Past

**A/N: Sorry this took so long, but I wanted to make sure I got this right. Enjoy xx Mariah**

* * *

Ned always told Katie that she was an idiot for staying out so late. That she shouldn't be on that edge of downtown any time past ten. But he didn't have to make money to live. He still lived with his mother, and as much as he'd tried to convince her to let Katie live there.

Delia hadn't been agreeable. After two weeks of crashing in Ned's room, his mother had given her fifty dollars and told her to walk to the nearest homeless shelter or she'd call her parents and let them know where she was.

So tonight, like most others, she ignored him and stayed at the 24-hour coffeehouse until well past midnight, trying to clock as many hours as her manager would let her. She was on her last strike to be late with rent, and right now she was screwed.

"I can't let you stay anymore. I can hold the fort down." Her manager, Ruby, said with a sad smile. She grabbed the tip jar and fished about half of it out. "Here's your cut."

"Okay, thanks." she sighed and took the untied her apron. "I'll be back on tomorrow at four."

"See you then. Thanks for all the hard work, Katie." Her manager said, turning to walk to the counter as someone stepped closer to it.

She nodded and made her way into the back room. She clocked out on her time card and grabbed her jacket and purse from her locker. After sitting down on the bench, she counted up her tip money.

A measly forty dollars was better than nothing. She tucked it away into her wallet and swung her purse over her shoulder. After that, she put her jacket on to hide her purse and walked out the back door, quickly jogging down toward the sidewalk.

It's late Spring, and the three block walk to her dingy studio was crisp. And though the air smelled sweet and fresh, like growth, it's also dark. The street lamps that lined her path were dim at best, and there's no moonlight because there's a storm on its way. She didn't even have a shadow; she was followed instead by the restless wind that stirs the freshly-leafed trees.

And with the street deserted at this hour, save for the stray passing car, Katie heard nothing but the buzz of late night traffic and club music in the background and the faint but impending roll of thunder that's headed straight for the city.

Katie was a block from her apartment when her phone rang in her pocket. She thought it's Ned, who's up studying to get into the police academy, tucked safely away in his room. He could never resist not checking in on her anyway.

And when she pulled her phone out of her purse, she grinned, because she was right.

"Hey," she smiled, pressing the phone to her ear. "Studying hard?"

"Are you home yet?" He asked. "I'm worried about you. The streets aren't safe where you live, Katie."

"I'm fine. You got me the pepper spray and a switchblade," she laughed and looked both ways before she crossed the street. "I'm almost there. Don't worry."

He sighed. "Alright. I'll stop worrying, for now."

"Okay. Thank you. You should trust me more," she said, jumping up from the street and onto the sidewalk once she crossed the street.

"It's hard when you don't tell me the truth," he muttered on the other end.

"Really Ned, right now?" She groaned. "I can't deal with this. I've never not told you the truth."

"You didn't tell me you were running away," he said and hung up.

She shoved her phone in her pocket and jogged toward the door. She couldn't think about that right now because Ned wouldn't have understood and still didn't. He had a mother, even if his father died, he still had his older brothers too.

She didn't have any real family. She didn't even know a little bit about where she came from.

Pulling Katie from her thoughts, someone pulled back on her shoulder suddenly and shoved her back into the building. She fought on instinct and pushed back against the man who had her pinned. She kicked her legs to trip him, but he held her firmly against the wall.

"Get off of me!" She yelled.

"I'm gonna need you to give me your purse, Princess." He chuckled and then pinned his hips against hers to stop her from squirming. "I've got you. You aren't going anywhere. Where's your purse?"

Her pulse throbbed against her neck and she turned her face away from him. She was frozen in her place, afraid to look up at the man who was crushing her into her apartment building. She felt the knife's presence before she felt it graze against her neck.

Her heart was beating so fast and so hard she could hear it in the back of ears, and she couldn't move—she could hardly breathe—even though every instinct in her body screamed for her to do something.

She could also listen to the voice, and give him her purse. Just become homeless and let them have it.

He might still murder her.

It's so quiet. Why the fuck was it so quiet? Shouldn't there be someone, something to stop this from happening to her?

But there's nothing. No remaining traffic. No passing pedestrians. And she couldn't help but wonder if this was how she was really going to die—in a cold, dark street corner in New York City. After she'd just told Ned to stop worrying about her.

She would be all alone. In silence. All because she wanted to make a little extra money. But she refused to give in to the burning tears brimming her eyes. And she refused to die.

Still, she heard nothing.

Not until she heard the voice that called her Princess clear his throat impatiently. "Give me your purse," he muttered, pressing the blade into her neck slightly again. "Or I'll kill you."

There was a chuckle, not one from the man in front of her, but another to the side of her. "How about you leave the girl alone and find someone a little better?" The was the click of his gun as the safety was removed. "Or I'll kill you."

"Hey, Dan, I'm sorry," the mugger pulled back his knife from her throat and ran before the other guy had the chance to shoot him.

She didn't know what she wanted to do. Did she run from the man who'd just saved her life because he carried a gun? Because the mugger knew his name?

She didn't think fast enough before the other man stepped in front of her, after putting his gun away to God knows where. "You okay, darlin'?" This man showed his face to her in the dim street light. He had cropped black hair and a scar above his eye, but as he smiled at her there was something about him that made her forget about the gun.

It could have been that he'd just saved her life, but it was also because there was something so intoxicating about him. She wanted to drink it in, to feel it take her over.

"Yeah," she whispered. "I thought I was gonna die… but you saved me." She gulped, wiping the sweat from her brow. "How did that guy know you?"

"Everyone around here knows me, darlin'." He smiled and licked his lips as he looked over her. "Don't you know me?"

She couldn't remember if she'd ever seen his face. Could she have?

She shook her head just to be safe. "No, how would I?" She asked. "I just moved to town."

"You moved here, all alone?" He asked.

"People tend to believe I'm older than I am," she shrugged, smiling a little. "Does that matter? You just saved my life, so I definitely owe you one."

Katie didn't know it yet, but she would regret ever saying that to him.

"Not one bit," he smiled. "Go on one date with me, right now. I promise it will be the best night of your life if you don't mind a little chaos."

She blushed, her mind thinking back to Ned. Were they a couple? They'd never put a label on things, not yet anyway.

What was the harm with one date… with this man, whoever he was.

"I don't mind chaos, but under one condition," she said.

"What?" The man grinned, his eyes flicked over every inch of her as he wound his arm around her shoulder.

"Your name, what is it?" She asked. "That guy, he called you Dan."

He pulled her away from the building, chuckling all the way before breaking into a run as he heard police sirens. "I'm Danny Larson baby, you better be able to run." He said, winking at her as he pulled her along.

One thing was for sure, Katherine knew how to run.


	17. Chapter 17: Present

**A/N: Another two months have passed by and more tensions are rising as Katie's further along with the baby. Enjoy xx Mariah**

* * *

Katie's phone buzzed with a new text alert, and she pushed her cart off to the side so she could check it, worried it was Ned or something else important.

She looked over at the produce display in front of her and groaned inwardly as she saw it was just her phone's low battery. She really needed to remember to charge it more.

"Katie?"

She followed the sound of her name, and there standing next to the sweet potatoes was Melinda, who was grabbing a bag of potatoes and Jim was pushing a cart. Her mother looked as gorgeous as ever, flawless outfit and not a hair out of place.

"Oh, hi you guys!" She said, waddling over to them both and giving them each a hug. "It's good to see you. It's been a few days."

"How are you feeling?" Melinda asked, resting her hand on her stomach. "I remember month five was when things got rough for me when I was pregnant with you."

"Yeah, my back hurts and my feet, but we need groceries."

"Where's Ned?" Jim asked. "I thought he had the night off?"

"He does have the night off, he's just helping his mother with something. She's not too fond of me and I don't think I want to tell her about the baby when it's not Ned's." She explained, sighing. "We haven't really talked about telling her anyway."

"Oh honey, why tell her about that? Ned's going to be there for you and raise the baby with you, right?"

"Yeah, but I know she'd ask…" She said worriedly. "I could never go over there anyway. She hates me."

Melinda sighed and hugged her, rubbing her stomach softly. "You're gonna have a baby in your arms in a heartbeat and I think you both are going to do right by him or her. I think Ned's mom will see that more than anything."

She sighed, looking back over the tomatoes and grabbed a few. "Maybe," she whispered. "But I don't know if I'm ready for that yet. Delia didn't like me when I was a teen let alone now when I'm five months pregnant."

"You never know, Katie. Talk to Ned about it," Jim suggested, shrugging.

"Yeah, a conversation with him doesn't mean you have to tell his mother. I think it will take a little bit off your chest if you talk to Ned about it, don't you?" Melinda said knowingly with a small smile.

Her mother was right. She knew that.

A conversation would definitely help.

* * *

Those words echoed through her head all night. She tried to concentrate on the movie she was watching with Ned, but every time the baby tossed or turned inside of her, she'd hear her mom encouraging voice again.

"Wow, someone's active tonight," he said, his hand in its usual place now, pressed firmly against her abdomen.

She swallowed thickly. "Yeah, I guess."

He kissed the top of her head and pulled her closer, his other hand still rubbing her belly. "What's on your mind? You were quiet all through dinner," he said, leaning down to look at her face.

"Just..stuff," she said, suddenly so tired she could hardly keep her eyes open.

"Is everything okay?" He asked.

"Yeah," she nodded, but her smile must have been unconvincing because he leaned over for the remote and turned off the TV.

"You sure?" He asked. "C'mon Katie, talk to me… this isn't going to work if we aren't talking, remember?"

"I know. It's just… in a few months, we'll have a baby here," she said. "It's still a little hard to believe."

"I know," he admitted as he ran his fingers through her hair. "But we've come a long way in the last few months."

"We have," she agreed.

"We'll be okay," he promised, whispering in her ear. "Right, baby?"

They both waited for the answering kick, and Katie felt the somersault a second later. "See," he said, grinning. "She agrees."

She couldn't help but smile back. "You're still sure it's a girl?"

He nodded confidently. "I like my odds." He winked.

She settled back against him, already feeling a little bit better. "I kind of think it might be a girl, too," she confided quietly as he continued to rub her stomach.

"You're going to make a great mother, you know." He said softly

She looked up in surprise and then exhaled in relief. "And I think you're going to be a fantastic father, Ned."

He leaned down to kiss her and the baby kicked he pulled away, his hands touched her stomach again and he smiled.

This was the perfect time to ask.

"Do you think we should tell your mother?" She whispered, touching his hand.

"About the baby?" He lifted his head to look at her.

"Yeah," she said softly. "I've been thinking about it the last few weeks."

"I've been thinking about it too," he said. "I told her that we're living together tonight… she took it better than I thought she would. She didn't yell or anything."

"I just thought… it doesn't matter if we know that Danny is the father. This is our baby," she said, squeezing his hand. "You've been here for me when I'm sobbing because everything is too much and you've been here on the best days. You're the one I love and that's all that matters."

He nodded and wrapped his arms around her tightly. "I love you and this baby so much. We should tell my mom. Invite her over for dinner and have Melinda and Jim here too, that might help with the tension."

She kissed his cheek. "You're so good to me," she smiled. "I can't wait to see how good you are to the baby."


End file.
